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Each person can spend up to one hour within any 24-hour period in this time-free environment. Just swipe your credit card (19.99 per hour including broadband access), boot up your laptop and connect.
PROBLEMS
One problem:
time-stretching effect is only produced, for some inexplicable reason, by constant and repeated playing of a particular piece of music, namely Elton John’s ‘"Candle in Wind". In addition, this works only when accompanied by display of a monochrome photograph featuring local council leaders of whichever town device is then located.
The Professor forlornly admitted that this could be a major barrier to P-box’s wider commercial adoption and that even a selection of John’s greatest hits did not achieve same effect, ‘Not even "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" gets us anywhere near’ he confirmed, wearily. In addition, no other type of picture makes eyes glaze over in quite same way.
TESTS
I found that P-box does indeed seem to work, though my efforts to delete all those unwanted messages were hampered somewhat by music which I cannot now stop humming.
Other minor operational issues during R&D have now largely been resolved. The Professor confirmed that a problem had occurred one day when door to P-box got stuck, trapping a colleague inside for over three hours.
The Professor gravely indicated colleague in question, who now insists on wearing oversized glasses and stack-heeled shoes in a "flamboyant" manner, while reciting local council bylaws in an unwavering monotone.
In response to my question about whether people would just use device to have a quick snooze, beer, or to fulfil other, less savoury instincts and lose no time by so doing, Professor confirmed that only message-deletion creates desired effect.
RULES
Some rules: customers must go to toilet before entering and must never consume drinks or food due to reverse-digestion effects when exiting capsule.
‘Very few people have mistaken P-box for a public toilet during trials, though we do accept there is some similarity in design. Hence door can be opened at any time following some initial accidents.
Time spent on tedious, live conference calls cannot be avoided by entering device: only messages recorded before time of entry can be handled.’
I also asked what happens to messages sent and received during hour-long stay in capsule. Apparently these are not updated until after departure from P-box. There seems to be no easy way, therefore, to stop constant drip-drip of messages into one’s Inbox, other than getting people to stop sending them in first place.
LADIES
Other details: ladies attempting to use capsule as a way of delaying onset of those tell-tale wrinkles will be disappointed, as time continues to pass outside P-box during one-hour session and any lessening of wrinkles in P-box is compensated by increased ageing after exit. Apparently this can be uncomfortable and disconcerting for onlookers and domestic pets.
GENTS
Gentlemen who would like to peruse sports magazines or "exotic" literature should be aware that an automatic detector flags carrying of such publications.
Marketing has started with slogan, "Pop a capsule a day. Keep those emails at bay!" Other suggestions are welcome.
Devices are intended for airports, train stations and other public places. Certainly it is a real advantage to be able to keep things under control in time before one’s train is due, even if that is in next few minutes, rather than offend other passengers on train by overuse of elbows and run risk of someone spying over one’s shoulder at vitally important messages.
Corporate use is discouraged, however, as it is feared that people would retreat in to P-boxes rather than attend key management meetings or seminars on ISO Quality Procedures and Processes.
AT A STATION NEAR YOU (NOT ANYTIME) SOON
Until P-box device becomes generally available (or feasible), you can visit site below to save at least an hour a day on your messages: http://www.zapit.org
Daily Zapit "News" by Alex MacCaskill © Migration Solutions (Kelsall) Ltd July 2004. All rights reserved.
Global education and training program development, sale and delivery for HP and others.
Creator of management tools to cut email and web abuse at work:
http://www.zapit.org
