Andy reflected on his week. He spent countless hours trying to make sure that his clothes sent right message. He had “dressed for success.” Only his best effort would do for Zenon. He imagined what would have happened if he had shown up at Zenon in his cutoffs. Probably same thing that would occur if he met with a major client while donning his Speedo. If he knew anything, Andy knew that clothes did indeed send a powerful message. They say, in their silence, that, this event is worth effort. Andy realized that not only did he insult God with his lack of effort, but he also sent wrong message to his little boy.

Upon arriving home from Mass, humbled executive decided to see just what Church had to say about proper dress for Mass. In Catechism of Catholic Church, he found such guidance in section devoted to Eucharist, “source and summit” of our faith. He reflected upon words, “Bodily demeanor (gestures and clothing) ought to convey respect, solemnity and joy of this moment when Christ becomes our guest.” (CCC #1387) Andy found further insights in section devoted to personal modesty: “Modesty is decency. It inspires one’s choice of clothing...it inspires a way of life which makes it possible to resist allurements of fashion and pressures of prevailing ideologies. Modesty...exists as an intuition of spiritual dignity proper to man.” (CCC #2522-24)

Powerful reminders. Ideas that are lost in America today, Andy thought. The Church’s insights made him reflect upon his youth when his whole family went to Mass in their “Sunday best.” To appear in Church in anything less caused a scandal back then. Sunday was special, it was important, and it was holy. What happened? What have we done? Have we lost our sense of sacred? Have we now “casualized” our culture to point of a complete loss of decency? Is nothing set apart and sanctified? Andy recalled reading a recent article on how businesses now have several “levels” of casual attire to try and combat various interpretations that are creeping into workplace. Like many people in corporate America, he knew that once we opened Pandora’s Box of “casual” then everyone’s personal interpretation had equal value, like it or not.

Andy reflected on Catechism’s words and on message he sent to God, his fellow man and his son. Did his choice of clothing convey respect for Real Presence? Was he bending to “allurements of fashion” by pretending to honor God in his finest cutoffs? Did he kowtow to “prevailing ideologies” by equating Sunday Mass attire with a morning of golf? Did virtue of modesty really disappear or was it just bludgeoned into obscurity by a self-indulgent culture? Andy thought about how ironic it was that his old company’s dress code prohibited cutoffs and T-shirts, but somehow he decided God did not care.

It was hard to imagine confusion he sowed in his son Colin’s mind. Here was an impressionable little boy who idolized his father. He was trying hard to understand how two events declared “important” by Dad were treated so differently. The sad part is, Andy knew there was really only one important thing. In his search for proverbial “better life” he had forgotten its Giver.

The following Sunday family was assembling for Mass. As his Dad rounded corner to kitchen, Colin spotted him and his face was wrinkled up with confusion. “Dad,” he asked, “Why are you are all dressed up? Do you have to go to work today?” “No,” said Andy with a smile, “but I am going to have a long talk with my Boss and enjoy a banquet with Him. Ready to join me?”

Neutral Ground-- It's important for many couples and their families to have a completely neutral ceremony. Many officiants steer clear of using non-inclusive language and avoid using mentions of things unique to one religion (for example, mentions of Israel, Jesus as a savior, etc.) and instead focus on God's love and theme of unity and togetherness. In general, we'd advise against having ceremony in a place of worship unless it is special to both bride and groom.

Music and Readings-- Incorporate music and readings from both your faiths into ceremony or you can have faith neutral readings and music. We have several suggestions for readings as well as tips for readers weddings in our ceremony section.

Programs-- Wedding programs are almost a necessity at an interfaith wedding if you will be incorporating aspects of two faiths into your wedding. A good program will explain meaning and origin behind any religious rituals that take place at wedding, that way, none of guests will be confused about what is going on (your guests may not have attended a wedding outside of their faith group).

Having two officiants-- Many interfaith couples are now deciding to have two officiants present at their wedding ceremonies, one from each religion. By having two officiants, you'll be making everyone more comfortable, plus two heads are always better than one and two officiants can give you more ideas about conducting and interfaith ceremony than just one.