I made a killing in market. The farmers market. I ran over a chicken.

Should you feel special if your dog can do a great impression of Yoko Ono?

What are your chances of success if you post a flyer in barn seeking a ribeye donor?

Would anybody like to buy my used electricity for half price?

What if you got away from it all and there was no place to stay?

Mow that Madonna is middle-aged, do you suppose she still buys underwear that has to be polished

Current day, it has been fairly uneventful; easy jog past horde of slow-moving decayed masses. That is until I am now met with hardest choice I’ve ever had to make. From out of crowds has come a familiar face. Who else could it be but iconic American singer, film actress, director and producer extraordinaire? Yes, it is Barbara Streisand, and she is in way. There are no 2 ways about it. If I want that crystal serving tray I am going to have to take my trusty pink chainsaw to her crooked zombie nose. Or should I accept defeat, and allow my role model to pass curse on to me? Could be an honor really, but it could be worst defeat of my life (and end of it, for that matter).

What should I do? Please, I need your help because my logic is not sound at moment. Visit me at http://www.nolifeonline.com , and hurry! I do not have much time.