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He's irritable, continually on edge, his gut hurts and lately, he's been bringing problem home. Not good.
Finally, Bob snaps. He angrily rushes over to co-worker's desk and within hearing distance of other staff members, begins shouting and leveling accusations. The co-worker is stunned by unexpected onslaught but to his credit, maintains a level attitude throughout tirade.
After Bob simmers down a bit co-worker quietly reveals information that proves he could not have had anything to do with situation. Embarrassed, Bob apologizes and wonders who real culprit can be.
After discussing matter with his co-worker, it becomes obvious to them both that they have been cleverly manipulated by someone else in company who had been previously turned down and by-passed for position Bob now holds. This person had tried to cover his tracks by telling everyone that rumors were originating from co-worker whom Bob had confronted (a rather Machiavellian twist, don't you think?)
Let's consider how Bob could have handled his problem in a less stressful manner:
Upon becoming aware of problem, Bob's first mistake was in doing nothing and hoping problem would go away. He should have immediately drawn co-worker aside and discussed problem in a more rational and less emotional manner.
Had he done so, both he and co-worker would have quickly discovered what was really going on - and he would have prevented his own conditioning from triggering an embarrassing, irrational and emotional outburst based upon non-factual and paranoid assumptions.
By maintaining his cool, co-worker was able to prevent further disintegration of situation. His quiet display of reason and control was, however, an exception to norm...because in face of anger and hostility, objectivity often suffers.
When people become recipients of a verbal frontal attack, tendency for most will be to respond in kind, thereby effectively fanning flames. Why? Because just like antagonist, recipients are also conditioned, fearful and defensive and more often than not, they'll react negatively to what they interpret as a personal threat.
Luckily for Bob, co-worker kept his own emotions in check and effectively brought understanding to situation by remaining calm and sticking to truth or facts.
By now it should be obvious that procrastination does nothing to resolve stressful situations. A more productive way is to take corrective and positive action as quickly as possible by applying a few simple but emphatic rules:
1. Search out facts or truth regarding situation 2. Do not assume anything 3. Get to root of problem!
When stressful situations arise, don't allow your emotions to dictate how you will respond or react - you could be going ballistic for all wrong reasons. Observe facts, remain objective and resolve problem as quickly as possible. In so doing, you'll save yourself a lot of future pain and you'll be much happier and more able to function effectively in a stressful and competitive world.
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Bill Reddie is the owner of Channel 1 Records, a company that has been producing music for stress relief and stress management since 1972. Further information regarding the beneficial effects of music and its potential for relieving stress, anxiety and burnout may be found at: http//www.channel1records.com