The second tip is to pay for steak with online coupons. You don't have to flip through flyers for coupons any more. For instance, I found this place that offers lots of free online coupons: http://www.specialoffers.com

Coupon shopping does have its drawbacks, like first time you try it you will find coupons are extremely hard to cut (unless you took my advice and bought one of those really cool cardboard computers at furniture superstore).

But you'll get hang of it, and before you know it you will save even more, because you can slash your scissors budget. Plus, you won't have to clean up all coupon clippings from floor. And think of all trees you will save.

My third tip is to bid at online auctions. Yeah, I know, you think auctions are only for antiques, multi-million dollar canvasses by dead people with funny accents and celebrity underwear.

But online is different. You can even bid on used chewing gum...which is why I advise being very careful what you bid on. For instance, I found this site: http://www.farmandfieldauctions.com/fly-fishing-gear.html

Feel free to bid on used fly-fishing-gear. I am sure you will get a great deal. But stay away from any auction for used bait.

Notice all used hunting supplies you can buy at: http://www.farmandfieldauctions.com/hunting-supplies.html

However, you will also notice how few auctions there are for used moose meat. There is a reason for that. If aliens capture your brain and you are compelled to bid on used moose meat, please watch for "urgent" label.

My best advice is not to bid on used chewing gun, used fishing bait or used moose meat. These have very little sizzle, and what steak they have is probably not very tasty.

Happy shopping.

I, on other hand, find it traumatic to meet old people. One reason I work from home, sitting in front of a computer screen, might be to avoid too many stand-up receptions trying to remember names of strangers I'm supposed to know. I just can't remember their names.

It's not totally true. I can often remember names, I just can't seem to attach them to faces, which I hear is a common problem. Like many people, my brain-glue was recalled for factory defects. I should have opened that recall notice when it arrived.

One game you can play to help attach names to faces is pin-the-name-on-the-donkey. This works great for people with defective brain-glue, because it uses ins instead of glue. I suggest you do this in your mind, not in actual reception room. Many people object to having things pinned to their faces, and a few might even object to being called donkeys. Most importantly, you could be in violation of local safety ordinances, especially if you use a stapler.

Another common strategy many people use to remember names is to repeat person's name several times. However, I think that sounds a bit silly.

"And who are you?"

"It's Trina."

"Hi Trina, how are you?"

"Just great. How are kids?"

"Trina, kids are doing very well. How are yours?"

"I don't have kids."

"I see, Trina."

"After meeting every month at this function for past decade, I thought you would remember that I have no kids. By way, why do you keep repeating my name?"

Perhaps meeting people is less traumatic than being born. At least I do remember meeting people, and not always waking up in a cold sweat. And I do remember their names. And I do remember their faces. And I even remember a few of their birthdays. But try as I might, I don't remember any of them being born.

Now, what was I going to write about this week? I just can't remember.