What can you learn about this person in particular and people in general by paying attention to this gesture? What are subtle differences between people using this gesture, and between instances when same person uses this gesture?

Remember, to develop mindfulness we need to notice new things, draw distinctions, shift our perspective, and stay focused on moment.

•Watching for a gesture allows us to pop into mindfulness mode whenever we notice our selected trigger. •Paying attention to various emotions and words of player helps us draw distinctions. •Looking at how different people use this gesture depending on circumstances teaches us to shift our perspective. •Spending even a few seconds of mindful attention whenever we see that hand-to-forehead gesture gives us a simple, brief, appealing opportunity to be fully present in moment.

Whether your interpersonal intelligence is highly developed or not, you can improve way you pay attention to world around you by engaging in this easy little game. Just pick a gesture, and start noticing when it appears.

Nobody needs to know. It's your secret mission. It will take only a few seconds here and there.

You will find that this is a remarkably powerful way to improve your ability to shift your focus instantly, heighten your awareness of visual cues, deepen your understanding of how emotions are expressed, and start seeing yourself as someone who PAYS ATTENTION.

Start sleuthing your way toward greater mindfulness by watching dramas unfold all around you.

You'll be maximizing mysteries of life!

I say stressing can be motivating. Many of us perform at our peak level when we have that adrenalin rush moving through our veins. Anyone who has ever waited until last minute to study for a test or complete a project knows what I’m talking about here.

Stressing can also be a way of telling others they better back off. I know when I felt stress, it was my unconscious goal to let my boss know she had better not ask me to do one more thing or I just might lose it! I would send out signals of overwhelm---lots of sighing, threatening looks, irritability, loss of humor. I have to admit that since I didn’t do it very often, it was quite effective. Whenever I was stressed, my boss generally left me alone to do my work.

Stressing can also get us help we need. When message is out there, others may rally around us to support us. People may actually offer to do some things for us so we can reduce overwhelm.

Another possible benefit is that stressing can provide us with recognition. People may say, "Wow, look at _____________. I don't know how he/she gets all that done. It's amazing!" There are some who appreciate this positive recognition.

One final thought on stressing benefits. . . When we stress long enough, we may develop physical symptoms. In Choice Theory, Dr. Glasser tells us that are behavior is total, meaning it is comprised of four inseparable component---the action, our thoughts, our feelings and physiology of our body or whatever our body is doing at that moment. When we don’t take care of managing our stress levels, our physiology takes over and creates physical symptoms for us. Now remember, I said all behavior is purposeful and physiology is a part of total behavior. Do you understand purpose of physical symptoms that accompany prolonged stress? Of course, it is our body’s way of telling us we have to stop or slow down. It produces physical symptoms that are hard to ignore. When we attend to them, we get rest we need and therefore reduce stress. Can you see how all behavior is purposeful?

If you are experiencing effects of stress in your life, I am not suggesting that you are to blame. What I am saying is that up until this point, you have been doing absolutely best you know how, consciously or unconsciously to get something you want by stressing. If you can pinpoint what benefit(s) of stress is/are to you, then you can look at ways to get what you need without having to stress.

To learn about stress management, visit www.TheRelationshipCenter.biz and check our events calendar for upcoming teleclasses, chats and workshops.