Then something sneaky happens: scar is surreptitiously removed, and participant enters interview thinking scar is still visible.

Right after interview, in virtually every case, participant is full of all kinds of examples of how interviewer behaved negatively due to scar. When viewing a video showing interviewer only, participant can point to several incidents which seemed to him to indicate distaste or prejudice-- "See? He's staring at scar!” etc.

Even after being shown images that clearly indicate that scar was not visible, participant is likely to persist in his belief that interviewer was focusing on it.

We all have invisible scars (irrational beliefs) about way we are treated by others--and why. Our left brains are working overtime to reinforce our beliefs. We get so entangled in these thoughts that our entire view of ourselves and world is strangled by them.

By paying attention to language in our heads, we can learn to recognize beliefs that might be sabotaging us. Observing our thoughts gives us a chance to step back and see left brain in action.

Use mindfulness to see your invisible scars. Watch your knee-jerk responses whenever you feel slighted by someone, and look for list of rationales that your left brain has been crafting. Somewhere in there is kernel of your persistent belief.

Watch and listen. You don't have to be a neuroscience geek to find that fascinating.

Self-harm is not necessarily an attempt at suicide. Though one study found that half of students who engage in behavior express thoughts of suicide, many professionals see behavior as a maladaptive coping skill used to keep person alive. Some would say that longer person engages in self-harming acts less likely that they are attempts at suicide. Self-injury is nonetheless a dangerous behavior and one that can lead to unintentional death.

Identifying person who is harming them self, may not always be easy. Frequently, person cuts on areas that cannot be easily seen by others. They may wear long sleeve shirts and pants to cover up scars. Some characteristics of people who are at risk for cutting include:

Low self-esteem extreme sensitivity to rejection high levels of anger suppress emotions impulsive depressed suffer chronic anxiety have been abused

Many people who engage in self-harming do get better. There are a handful of inpatient programs around country and an increasing number of therapists and programs treating self-harm on an outpatient basis. If your child is hurting her or himself, seek help. © 2005, David Westbrook