Communicate. In mind reading, you would respond to another according to your interpretation of his or her actions. He or she would in turn respond to you according to his or her interpretation of your actions, and on and on and on.

Without mind reading and hence interpretation, logical step is to communicate. Ask questions. Share your feelings. Ask for what you want. Set boundaries. Expand your communication repertoire. As long as you are gentle and respectful, you can say almost anything to anyone without causing an adverse reaction.

This will not work with everyone immediately, but will work with most people eventually. After all, communication creates intimacy and growth, which is why we all want relationships in first place.

When you play mind-reading game you set yourself up for craziness and often for disappointment, resentment, fear and anxiety. Once you stop playing game, realize what's going on with other person is not personal and start communicating, you'll notice a dramatic change in your peace of mind and quality of your relationships.

Your Relationship Coach, Rinatta Paries www.WhatItTakes.com

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

Eventually, mind lets go of all various things it thinks it wants to say, since it begins to understand that it cannot speak just yet. In that mental release, new understanding is possible. I learned about Talking Stick through Lakota friends. I am deeply grateful for this knowledge, and feel use of this Sacred Tool has enriched my life.

If you really want to gain fullest benefit from relationships you have chosen at this time, make a Talking Stick and use it. You can find a special stick in woods, use a length of cane, or any other natural item. Personalize it with spiritual medicine that represents both you and your partner (and children, if you have any--they should be in family circles and listened to as closely as you will be learning to listen to each other). You can add feathers, crystals, stones, sprigs of sage, etc. If you'd like further guidance, in creating Talking Stick according to Native-American tradition, seek guidance of a teacher of Native-American ancestry.

Though it may be challenging at first, to let someone speak without need to interrupt or respond, you will find that it becomes more and more a way of communicating, even when stick is not present. The more you use it, more you will learn about patience and more you will discover about those closest to you and also, about yourself.

I've often thought that it would be a perfect world if we could all walk as if each person, at all times, carried a Talking Stick.