What are turn-offs for you?

* " Doesn't take care of herself- sloppy, disorganized, etc." * " Negativity is a big turn-off- behavior, relationships, conversation" * " High-maintenance- nothing is ever enough" * " Game-player/won't express needs and feelings directly" * " Expects too much in general and doesn't give back equally" * " Is always victim- everyone unfair and unkind to them" * "needy, insecure, clingy" * " selfish- stingy with money, time, friends"

What are qualities that make a woman a "keeper"?

* " Nurturing" * "supportive" * " intelligent" * " very into me" * " appreciates what I contribute and is respectful of my feelings" * " self-reliant" * "family-oriented, likes kids" * " career or no career ok as long as she contributes to family (great mom)

How would you define "date"?

* " Make plans in advance" * " There is something there besides sex" * " This is something you want to pursue- have an interest in person" * "Friends with benefits can lead to dating or be considered a date" * "Hooking-up is not dating"

How does a woman know if a guy is really interested?

* " He will pursue her" * " No matter what, he will keep in contact" * " He communicates regularly and pursues a dating relationship"

How does a guy let a woman know he is not/no longer interested?

* " He will vanish" * " Email or call but not bring up getting together" * "Say I had a great time, etc.- but then not call" * "Won't return calls or call when he said he would" * "Talk with her about how he is feeling/not feeling, but this is hard for many men to do" * "Has to do with his age and level of maturity- these will determine which way he will handle it"

Why/when do guys marry?

* " It's about maturity and readiness" * " Age and what friends are doing plays a large role" * " Has to do with readiness for making a commitment and having kids, etc." * " Heeds to feel financially, emotionally ready" * " Needs to really click with a woman- on all levels" * "timing is a lot of it"

The content of feedback from these guys was very consistent. The overall consensus? High-maintenance, negative women are biggest turn-offs. Confident, together women, who take care of themselves, can communicate honestly and directly and are easy to be with- got highest marks. Timing in relationships plays a huge role. Mostly, men emphasized that when a guy is truly interested in a woman, he will pursue her and let her know. If he offers excuses and doesn't follow through, he's just not interested- either in her or in a relationship at this time.

My advice to women out there. "Listen" closely to what he communicates non-verbally. If he says one thing, but does another, he is not telling you whole truth. If you have just begun dating someone or have seen him for a while and his behavior towards you changes suddenly- address this with him immediately. Most of all, if something just doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. Trust your instincts and let them be your guide.

The Objectivity of My Desire By very nature of friends and family members, they are not objective. They have great compassion for buyer and likewise great fear that some harm, be that physical or financial, may come to that buyer. Making matters all worse is fear in back of head of "friend in construction" that their experience is not truly enough to render opinions being offered.

This takes situation down path to an even less desirable situation. We have a nervous or anxious buyer being given advice by a now nervous and anxious person who is operating well outside their area of expertise. However, they are now reluctant to concede that they are lost and scared. This is not good for anyone in transaction - buyer, seller, or agents!

Trust and Credibility Moving on, we come to issue of credibility. I've observed thousands of transactions, and it seems to me that sellers are a distrusting lot. Or rather, they certainly are when it comes to issue of imperfections in their homes.

What happens if, by some stroke of good fortune, "friend in construction" actually performs home inspection in a superior manner, and actually discovers all of homes flaws in a clear and concise way? It is still probable that seller will doubt results are fair and objective due to relationship between buyer and "inspector".

This inherent distrust most always results in a professional inspector being called in to confirm or deny observations of "friend". Who pays bill for this additional involvement and what to do with conflicting observations only adds another layer of pain and confusion on a transaction that is already hemorrhaging to death.

Who to Hire? Keep life simple! Always hire professional ASHI qualified Home Inspectors. You can be sure that ASHI home inspectors adhere to a strict Code of Ethics, a well-defined Standards of Practice, and have passed most demanding membership certification requirements in country.

And if there is a personal connection to home inspector, be SURE to disclose that up front to all concerned. Most people will not object to disclosure, but let discovery be make after fact and trust, as well as transaction, may be gone forever.

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