Needless to say, without a promotional tape, our weddings decreased and clubs increased. It got to point where we were doing three or four weekends in a row; as opposed to two or three weddings per month. Also, pay at a four hour wedding is much better than working four hours, two nights in a row, (eight hours total) at a club. Not that money was my motive. It wasn't. But, it was nice to work a wedding and make what I'd bust my "you know what" working a whole weekend at a club!

So, after about a year and a half of bookings increasing, (the clubs loved us), I had to make a choice.

Everything in life, (and if you've read some of my other material you'll know I mean this), requires balance. Working most weekends was tiring and was putting a strain on my fiance and I. He went to a lot of gigs with me because working in a club environment is much different than doing a wedding. You know, there's a bit more trouble to be found. Luckily, my experience with band was pretty much trouble free. Although I must say that there were many folks at weddings who'd tip a few too many and loved to jump up on stage, grab microphone and belt away! (Those times were funny, and there were some people who were pretty damn good)!

Back to choice. It was a tough one. If only...but we don't live in an "if only" world. The bookings were not going to lighten up -- as a matter of fact it was opposite. We had definitely become a club band -- no longer doing weddings as our primary gigs. And, music was getting a bit stale, although I introduced a lot of new material to band. I also play keys so I could work out tunes at home.

I digress.

On New Years Eve, 1999-2000, I sang with band for last time. It wasn't an easy decision, but one I had to make. Although painful at time, I must say that with pain comes growth. I never would have started my e-book and landed a contract if I were still with band. I wouldn't be a contributor on various writing sites if I were still with band. I had to put my creative energies somewhere and they landed upon cyber pages of Internet. I am glad for that.

And music hasn't left me. It can't. It would be like cutting off my right arm. I still play, still sing, still sit in occasionally. I even reunited with band at my sister's wedding this past November and it was GREAT! Just like yesterday. That same ol' chemistry was there, not to be broken by time. We laughed just like we always did.

When my father plays his solo gig in a small restaurant/bar, we go see him and I've been know to sit and play/sing a few at end of night. It brings back wonderful feelings and I love making people happy. When I hear, "Could you sing 'this or that', it feels terrific. (However, it's quite embarrassing when I don't know tune....)

Who knows? Maybe someday I'll pick up a solo gig somewhere... © Ellen M. DuBois

It takes time and perseverance to find work and life of your dreams. Here are some characteristics to cultivate that will support you:

Vision -- great clarity about what you want. Describe your vision in detail and visualize yourself in your new condition. The more you do this, more possible, even probable, it seems that you will get there.

Strong intention -- determination to get what you want. Pursue your goals when you are thinking, writing, talking, exploring, reading and being, as well as in your actions. Be resolute that you will achieve your objectives. Stay focused and don't let anything or anyone stand in your way.

Unwavering belief -- a belief so strong that it stands up against challenges. Other people, sometimes believing they are being helpful, try to persuade us to be realistic, meaning that we shouldn't aim too high. Successful people keep their goals high and their expectations inline. People may tell us we are being a dreamer. Successful people are practical dreamers. They have dreams, and they figure out how to make them come true.

Action approach -- know what you need to do and do it. If a person wants to drive a car, he gets behind wheel. To dance, he moves his feet to rhythm. To find a new job, career or better skills, he researches his options, decides on a plan and implements it. Everything requires movement. Moves toward your goals.

Focus -- stay on course. Don't stop on way or get sidetracked by fear or myriad other things that hold one back. Even best get waylaid now and then, but those who are sure of path they are on don't let themselves procrastinate for long. They just put themselves on fast forward and fly.

Faith -- truly believe you will get it. Know it is just a matter of time. If things don't move as fast as you would like, if something goes wrong, if you get unavoidably sidetracked, it doesn't have a permanent effect. When you fall off horse, simply get right back on.

(c) 2001, Gloria Dunn, all rights reserved.