When your partner complains about way house looks, or way dinner tastes, it may be a “hint” that he’d like more affection. Ya know?

When you tell your administrative assistant, “Go run this off and collate it for me,” you are “hinting.” There are two ways to collate. (Yes there are. Did you know that? See how hard it is?) And what happens after that?

My doctor told me other day, “Take this PRN.” That’s a hint. What does “PRN” mean?

Does being direct and not hinting insure you’ll get what you want? No. But neither does being indirect and hinting, and chances are higher if you’re direct. And being clear about what you want is a lot better for your sense of personal power.

Come on and hawk it up like a hairball. You’ve probably discovered in intimate relationship communication by now, you’re a lot better off to go ahead and say it. If you don’t because you fear it will harm relationship, it might. But not saying something that important will definitely harm relationship. Somewhere down line not saying “Don’t kiss me like that, kiss me like this,” becomes “I want a divorce.” Who ever meant for it to go that far?

Clear up your communication as best you can, and work on your tone of voice. We’re all in this together!

TONE OF VOICE

Sometimes people think being “direct,” means being loud, demanding, or forceful. Maybe you think it should be accompanied by pointing fingers and pounding fists. Not at all! It often works well to soften your voice when you’re preparing to be direct. After all when we hear something loud and threatening (always a personal perception and personal threshold), we’re geared to fight or flight and we don’t receive or process information well.

Don’t know about you, but I tend to stumble into all my greatest learning experiences. I remember first time I got a sore throat when I had a child in house and couldn’t talk above a whisper. He did everything I asked, like a little lamb. I’ve also tried it at work. I find I have exceptionally peaceful days when I have a cold and can’t talk loud. hmmm

HINTS DON’T WORK

It is hardest thing in world to come out and say what you want, clearly and distinctly, in a way that can be answered “yes” or “no.” It’s particularly important when it matters most – when it’s emotional, and involves someone you love.

Asking for something you want emotionally puts you in a vulnerable position. It’s high-risk. If answer is “no,” all hope has been removed. However, it defines you as a person with choices who makes demands and has boundaries. It frees you to go and get what you want elsewhere, or to redefine what you want. It gives you knowledge and information. It takes you out of fantasy world of wishing and hoping, and puts you clearly on path to being an agent in your own life and getting what you want that can be gotten!

GO FOR IT!

§You cannot “get lost” while hypnotized. There is no place to “get lost” to. You do not leave your body or your mind behind and go off somewhere.

§No one can “put thoughts into your head” or make you do things that you would not ordinarily do. Your own core values cannot be violated by another; if, under certain circumstances, you could be moved to bark like a dog or cluck like a chicken, then a hypnotic suggestion to do so would not violate your core values.

§Others cannot take over or control your mind. Your mind has 2 components: conscious mind, which is objective part, assists you in making daily decisions and analyzing data. The subconscious part is subjective, and this is where your creativity and abstract thinking lie. The subconscious is inclined to believe what you tell it. For instance, if you think something, then to your subconscious mind, that is so. It does not analyze facts; if you think it, then it accepts it as fact. If you think that others can control your mind, then for you, that is true. But only because you allow idea to be a fact for you.

§Anyone can be hypnotized. What happens when you’re watching television and someone tries to get your attention? Have you ever been driving down road, only to look around and see that you’ve gone much further than you thought? When you focus your concentration to point where everything else is screened out, then you are in a state of hypnosis. Hypnosis narrows your focus and concentration. You do that when you are intent in a conversation, or performing any activity that decreases your awareness of things outside of yourself.

Hypnosis is not a mystery. It is not evil, and it is not mind control. It is simply a way to temporarily bypass rational mind in order to facilitate desired changes. Many, many people have successfully undergone hypnosis and achieved their goals.

Rita Ballard, GVA, C.Ht. is a licensed hypnotherapist and the owner of Healer's Helper, a virtual assistance business providing administrative support services to healthcare professionals. For more information, please visit www.healershelper.com Virtually Restoring Balance, One Task At A Time!