Mastering the Fine Art of Hinting

Written by Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach

Continued from page 1

When your partner complains aboutrepparttar wayrepparttar 126165 house looks, orrepparttar 126166 wayrepparttar 126167 dinner tastes, it may be a “hint” that he’d like more affection. Ya know?

When you tell your administrative assistant, “Go run this off and collate it for me,” you are “hinting.” There are two ways to collate. (Yes there are. Did you know that? See how hard it is?) And what happens after that?

My doctor told merepparttar 126168 other day, “Take this PRN.” That’s a hint. What does “PRN” mean?

Does being direct and not hinting insure you’ll get what you want? No. But neither does being indirect and hinting, andrepparttar 126169 chances are higher if you’re direct. And being clear about what you want is a lot better for your sense of personal power.

Come on and hawk it up like a hairball. You’ve probably discovered in intimate relationship communication by now, you’re a lot better off to go ahead and say it. If you don’t because you fear it will harmrepparttar 126170 relationship, it might. But not saying something that important will definitely harmrepparttar 126171 relationship. Somewhere downrepparttar 126172 line not saying “Don’t kiss me like that, kiss me like this,” becomes “I want a divorce.” Who ever meant for it to go that far?

Clear up your communication as best you can, and work on your tone of voice. We’re all in this together!


Sometimes people think being “direct,” means being loud, demanding, or forceful. Maybe you think it should be accompanied by pointing fingers and pounding fists. Not at all! It often works well to soften your voice when you’re preparing to be direct. After all when we hear something loud and threatening (always a personal perception and personal threshold), we’re geared to fight or flight and we don’t receive or process information well.

Don’t know about you, but I tend to stumble into all my greatest learning experiences. I rememberrepparttar 126173 first time I got a sore throat when I had a child inrepparttar 126174 house and couldn’t talk above a whisper. He did everything I asked, like a little lamb. I’ve also tried it at work. I find I have exceptionally peaceful days when I have a cold and can’t talk loud. hmmm


It isrepparttar 126175 hardest thing inrepparttar 126176 world to come out and say what you want, clearly and distinctly, in a way that can be answered “yes” or “no.” It’s particularly important when it matters most – when it’s emotional, and involves someone you love.

Asking for something you want emotionally puts you in a vulnerable position. It’s high-risk. Ifrepparttar 126177 answer is “no,” all hope has been removed. However, it defines you as a person with choices who makes demands and has boundaries. It frees you to go and get what you want elsewhere, or to redefine what you want. It gives you knowledge and information. It takes you out ofrepparttar 126178 fantasy world of wishing and hoping, and puts you clearly onrepparttar 126179 path to being an agent in your own life and getting what you want that can be gotten!


©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, . I offer coaching, distance learning courses, and ebooks around emotional intelligence for your continued personal and professional development. For free ezine,

Hypnotic Myths

Written by Rita Ballard

Continued from page 1

§You cannot “get lost” while hypnotized. There is no place to “get lost” to. You do not leave your body or your mind behind and go off somewhere.

§No one can “put thoughts into your head” or make you do things that you would not ordinarily do. Your own core values cannot be violated by another; if, under certain circumstances, you could be moved to bark like a dog or cluck like a chicken, then a hypnotic suggestion to do so would not violate your core values.

§Others cannot take over or control your mind. Your mind has 2 components:repparttar conscious mind, which isrepparttar 126164 objective part, assists you in making daily decisions and analyzing data. The subconscious part is subjective, and this is where your creativity and abstract thinking lie. The subconscious is inclined to believe what you tell it. For instance, if you think something, then to your subconscious mind, that is so. It does not analyze facts; if you think it, then it accepts it as fact. If you think that others can control your mind, then for you, that is true. But only because you allowrepparttar 126165 idea to be a fact for you.

§Anyone can be hypnotized. What happens when you’re watching television and someone tries to get your attention? Have you ever been driving downrepparttar 126166 road, only to look around and see that you’ve gone much further than you thought? When you focus your concentration torepparttar 126167 point where everything else is screened out, then you are in a state of hypnosis. Hypnosis narrows your focus and concentration. You do that when you are intent in a conversation, or performing any activity that decreases your awareness of things outside of yourself.

Hypnosis is not a mystery. It is not evil, and it is not mind control. It is simply a way to temporarily bypassrepparttar 126168 rational mind in order to facilitate desired changes. Many, many people have successfully undergone hypnosis and achieved their goals.

Rita Ballard, GVA, C.Ht. is a licensed hypnotherapist and the owner of Healer's Helper, a virtual assistance business providing administrative support services to healthcare professionals. For more information, please visit Virtually Restoring Balance, One Task At A Time!

    <Back to Page 1 © 2005
Terms of Use