Mannerly Behavior 101

Written by Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach & Consultant


Continued from page 1

NOISE

1.Uncurbed cell phone use 2.Strident and harsh tones of voice 3.Talking too much or too loudly 4.Nervous habits – scraping nails on a blackboard, tongue-clicking, finger tapping, throat clearing, humming, talking to yourself out loud 5.Playing music inappropriately 6.Misbehaving pets and children – a dog that barks all night; children out of control in a restaurant 7.Unpleasant voice – cackling laugh, nasal twang 8.Wheezing, coughing, gagging, snoring, snorting, burping, farting, hawking phlegm 9.Inappropriate crying or laughing 10.Disturbing someone’s sleep 11.Loud noises – honking horn, banging desk or cabinet, scraping chair, slamming books, fist or door 12.Drunk and disorderly conduct

MOVEMENT

1.Fidgeting, banging, bouncing, swaying in conversation 2.Moving too fast (don’t startle people) or too slow (“Sunday drivers”) 3.Any unwanted body contact – hugging, hitting, touching 4.Physical harm to another 5.Standing too close

ODORS

1.Body odor 2.Bad breath 3.Cheap dry-cleaned clothes, moth balls onrepparttar sweater 4.Too strong cologne in closed quarters 5.Burning incense, scented candles, cigarette or cigar smoke 6.Food – bringing sauerkraut intorepparttar 130107 break room, or sardines

VISUAL

1.Exposing body parts inappropriately – cleavage, butt cracks 2.Unclean or unkempt 3.Inappropriate apparel 4.Inappropriate self-grooming in public – cleaning your ears, scratching your genitals, picking your nose 5.Gestures and expressions – rolling eyes, sneering, givingrepparttar 130108 finger, glowering 6.Nervous tics and mannerisms – biting your lip, playing with your hair 7.PDA – public displays of affection

WORDS

1.Profanity 2.Inappropriate sexual references 3.References to body processes and elimination 4.Provocation – saying things designed to arouse (controversial issues such as race, religion, politics and sex) 5.Gossip, slander and libel 6.Complaining, whining, catastrophizing 7.Inappropriate self-disclosure (traumas, addictions, your sex life) 8.Badgering, belaboring, pontificating, or boring others. Know when is enough. 9.Put downs, degrading, insulting, bullying 10.Offering unsolicited advice 11.Monopolizing air time 12.Ignoring someone 13.Shaming and blaming 14.Attacking, sarcasm

EMOTIONS

1.Negativity 2.Hostility 3.Self-pity, victimization 4.Pessimism 5.Copping an attitude 6.Spreading doom and gloom 7.Anxiety without boundaries

BODY FLUIDS

1.Spitting, slobbering 2.Coughing 3.Sneezing 4.Touching someone else’s food or drinking from their cup 5.Unwanted kissing 6.Not flushingrepparttar 130109 toilet 7.Blowing your nose atrepparttar 130110 table

In essence, picture a space around yourself and aroundrepparttar 130111 other, including space that’s shared (public restroom, airport waiting room). Be good to that space. Treat it with respect.

THE GOLDEN RULE

How do you know what’s respectful? Empathy. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

LET IT ALL HANG IN.

Somewhere alongrepparttar 130112 way, “let it all hang out” got out of control. We now need to protect ourselves from one another. Your emotional state, for instance, needn’t be commented upon continually. Nor do we need to know intimate details about your sex life. War stories afflictrepparttar 130113 hearer as much asrepparttar 130114 original recipient. Advice and opinions are best received when invited. Depression is depressing.

It isn’t all about you. It’s about you andrepparttar 130115 others in your environment. Don’t “Jabarepparttar 130116 Hut” others. Stay in your space.

Space violations engender negative emotions. Emotional management is Emotional Intelligence.

CORRELLARY: When you develop your own Emotional Intelligence, your world will become less rude. Rudeness is a closed feedback loop. People become rude because they’ve been treated badly, and then they turn around and dorepparttar 130117 same thing. When you’ve been assaulted with too much rudeness too long, you become hostile. You quit caring aboutrepparttar 130118 other.

CHANGE YOURSELF. CHANGE YOUR WORLD.

Clients often tell me after EQ work with me, how much nicer people are. There are some people who are inveterately rude, it’s true, but there are other people who are reacting to what’s coming at them. When you’ve learned to manage yourself, and those around you, you naturally elicit respect.

STOP THE MADNESS

So how do we stop this epidemic of rudeness? Start with yourself. Take a look atrepparttar 130119 list and see how you’re doing.

Then start being POLITE. It’s fromrepparttar 130120 Latin “polished” – smooth, round, with no rough edges.

According to m-w, it means “showing or characterized by correct social usage; marked by an appearance of consideration, tact, deference or courtesy; marked by a lack of roughness or crudities.”

Practically speaking? ·Holdrepparttar 130121 door open for someone. ·Say “please,” “thank you,” “excuse me,” and “may I?” ·Turn offrepparttar 130122 cell phone. ·Modulate your voice. ·Don’t force your opinions on others. ·Smell good. ·Talk nice. ·Be considerate. ·And work with an EQ coach!

P.S. “Might makes right” only inrepparttar 130123 barnyard. If you’re abusing others with rudeness because you’rerepparttar 130124 boss,repparttar 130125 father,repparttar 130126 owner,repparttar 130127 richest, orrepparttar 130128 biggest, shame on you!

©Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach and Consultant, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching, business programs, internet courses, teleclasses and ebooks around emotional intelligence. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE ezine. I train and certify EQ coaches. Email me for information on this fast, affordable program with no residency requirement.


Self Help When You're In Debt

Written by Paul Davis


Continued from page 1

-- You Are Not Your Money

Sadly nowadays, money buys status. It's easy to believe that your value as a person depends onrepparttar value of your bank balance.

Nonsense! You are a unique individual with many special qualities. There will never be anyone quite like you ever again. You're wonderful! You're terrific! And your character and personality are not a product of money.

Plus.. does it really matter what other people think of you? Well that depends on what you mean by 'people'...

Quite often they are "acquaintances"... or anonymous strangers you pass inrepparttar 130105 street who may admire your latest designer suit... or shop assistants happy to sell you another expensive item of jewelry.

Are these people really important to you? Of course not.

Focus onrepparttar 130106 folks close to you who really matter. True friends and family don't judge you by your wealth.

-- Grab The Opportunity

Life's problems are nothing more than tremendous opportunities for personal self-growth.

Ask yourself what you are learning from being in debt. Is it a humbling experience? In which case, is it really such a bad thing to discover what it means to be human?

Perhaps you are learning compassion for other humans, and beginning to seerepparttar 130107 beauty in other, 'ordinary' people.

And if you've lost your job - a common cause of debt problems - then look on it as an opportunity for a new start in life. What would you love to do - instead of just making money?

As you may have realized, being in debt is not all bad news.

Viewed as opportunity for self-growth, it can berepparttar 130108 turning point onrepparttar 130109 road to true 'riches'.

Paul Davis writes for Debt Elimination 4U, showing ordinary people how to get out of debt and stay out! Visit the site at: http://debt-elimination-4u.com


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