Use this approach with moderation and support it with complimentary requests for assistance. Ignoring someone conveys disapproval, which could change a potential ally into an adversary.

Approach 5: One point at a time

Sometimes dominant participants will control a discussion by listing many points in a single statement. They cite every challenge, condition, and consideration known, which completely clogs everyone else's thinking. End this by asking participants to state only one point at a time, after which someone else speaks. It is very difficult to monopolize a discussion when this technique prevails.

Quiet participants often hope to be ignored; dominant participants want to be noticed. A quiet person may feel overbearing after making two statements in an hour. A dominant participant may feel left out after contributing only 95% of ideas. You will be most successful moderating dominant participants by building bridges between what they want and what you need.

Approach 6: Interrupt with "excuse me"

Use words "excuse me" as a wedge to interrupt a long monologue. It's important that you say "Excuse me" with polite sincerity. For example, you could say:

"Excuse me, this seems interesting and I wonder if you could tell me how it relates to our meeting."

"Excuse me, I'm sure this is very important and since we have only five minutes left for this issue, I wonder if you could summarize your main point."

Use these techniques to hold effective meetings by moderating contributions from more outspoken participants.

This is fifth of a seven part article on Managing Monsters in Meetings.

Focus on behavior. Your goal is to hold an effective meeting -- not teach lessons. If you attempt to punish people, through admonitions, ridicule, or threats, you will make enemies. In short term, that can ruin effectiveness of your meeting, and in long term it can ruin your career. So, when unproductive behavior appears in your meeting, talk about behavior. For example, if a side conversation starts, you could say, "We seem to have more than one meeting going on now, and that's preventing us from working on budget."

Apply diplomatic courage. Leaders project strength and confidence; losers project negativity and fear. Detach from behavior that seems bothersome, realizing it is simply something that other person is doing. Assume that there is no personal intent to damage you. Just talk about what is happening and ask for what you want to happen as shown in above paragraph.

Show what you expect. Be a model for effective meeting behavior. If it is your meeting, or if you hold a leadership role in your organization, realize that others regard you as standard for their actions. If you arrive on time for meetings, others will interpret this to mean that they should come to your meetings on time. If you make positive, appropriate contributions in meetings, others will infer that this is what you expect from them.

Apply these strategies to make your meetings effective.

This is first of a seven part article on Managing Monsters in Meetings.