A speaking prop is an object that entitles holder to speak. When person finishes speaking, prop is passed on to next person who wants to speak. Possible props include a gavel, paper cup, or toy. If you are working on a controversial issue, select a soft object, such as a teddy bear or foam ball. It reduces stress and potential injury (if thrown).

Introduce new process by saying:

"We seem to have a lot of enthusiasm for this issue. So, let's decide that only person holding gavel (cup, teddy bear, foam ball) may speak. Is that okay?"

Notice this statement begins with a complimentary acknowledgment of situation (multiple conversations) followed by a suggestion and ends with a request for cooperation.

Use these techniques to regain control of your meeting.

This is second of a seven part article on Managing Monsters in Meetings.

Use this approach with moderation and support it with complimentary requests for assistance. Ignoring someone conveys disapproval, which could change a potential ally into an adversary.

Approach 5: One point at a time

Sometimes dominant participants will control a discussion by listing many points in a single statement. They cite every challenge, condition, and consideration known, which completely clogs everyone else's thinking. End this by asking participants to state only one point at a time, after which someone else speaks. It is very difficult to monopolize a discussion when this technique prevails.

Quiet participants often hope to be ignored; dominant participants want to be noticed. A quiet person may feel overbearing after making two statements in an hour. A dominant participant may feel left out after contributing only 95% of ideas. You will be most successful moderating dominant participants by building bridges between what they want and what you need.

Approach 6: Interrupt with "excuse me"

Use words "excuse me" as a wedge to interrupt a long monologue. It's important that you say "Excuse me" with polite sincerity. For example, you could say:

"Excuse me, this seems interesting and I wonder if you could tell me how it relates to our meeting."

"Excuse me, I'm sure this is very important and since we have only five minutes left for this issue, I wonder if you could summarize your main point."

Use these techniques to hold effective meetings by moderating contributions from more outspoken participants.

This is fifth of a seven part article on Managing Monsters in Meetings.