The employee may think something is completely new, but with an EQ program, he or she can learn to identify skills and steps that are familiar, and also emotions that are familiar to all transitions and learning experiences. This eliminates a lot of stress.

What holds most people back from quick learning is fear. They fear making a mistake. They think it will be too hard. They remember past failures. They fear being overwhelmed. They fear success. They may have been publicly humiliated in past.

Chances are you have a good training program for skills and techniques, and you have chosen intelligent and competent people to begin with. Learning to work with your employees on their Emotional Intelligence will give you an edge on intangibles that have been holding you back that you may not have been able to identify and break down into learnable steps.

Change is stressful. Rapid change is even more stressful. Resilience, which was called ultimate stress-buster in a recent Wall Street Journal article, is an Emotional Intelligence competency. It means bouncing back after failures, rejections, losses and defeats.

When you learn what makes people Resilient, you can pass this on to your sales staff, project teams and customer service reps who cope daily with rejection and frustration.

You’ve taken care of skills, education and training, but what about Emotional Intelligence? Take a second look. More and more managers are finding this to be missing piece in their training.

©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching, distance learning and ebooks around emotional intelligence for personal and professional development. Susan is the Director of EQ Alive!, training and certifying managers, coaches, teachers and therapists in Emotional Intelligence. It’s what’s been missing in your employee programs. Individualized AND group programs available, LD or on-site. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for more information.

Your fiancé probably doesn't have first clue in what goes into a wedding.

Get your wedding planner, write it all down, and show him. Once he gets over shock, you'll both probably be able to identify areas that interest him. Make lists of things you've each agreed to do, and cross them off as they get done. At very least, he'll be far more supportive when he sees what you're going through.

6) Weave his family heritage/ethnicity raditions into ceremony.

What did his parents do? He might be surprised at question, but it could lead somewhere valuable. He might ask his parents about their wedding, and find your wedding consequently enriched. Look through their wedding album together. Are his ancestors German, Polish, Italian, Croatian, Asian? Incorporate some old-world traditions into your ceremony.

7) Don't bring him in too early.

Treat your fiancé as a bit of a pinch hitter. Sure, you may be fully aware that you can shave 5K off your costs by starting your favor crafts and reservations 18 months ahead of time. But if he's like most guys, wedding won't become real to him until it draws closer. Expect him to jump in about six months before actual ceremony, and break into a (relative) frenzy of activity about one month in advance.

8) Talk about something besides wedding.

Guys aren't only ones who complain about brides-to-be talking of nothing but upcoming nuptials. Sometimes, even girlfriends get overwhelmed by all wedding chatter.

Spend some time alone chatting about anything but wedding. See a silly movie, split a hot fudge sundae, or watch a basketball game. Do something spontaneous that reminds you both of why you decided to marry in first place.

9) Check your subtext for hidden meanings.

Tempting as it might be, make sure you're not using your fiancé as a coin-toss tool (ever noticed how people flip coins to find out what they really want?). When you ask for his opinion, take it seriously. And when you give him ownership of a task, don't second-guess every step.

Imagine that your fiancé has told you he's going to draft a dream team in his fantasy football league, and it's going to cost him $20K to participate. Now imagine that he's told you your help is supremely important to him.

You'd be a little hesitant to give opinions, right? Some of your ideas might sound feeble, even to your own ears. Hopefully he'd welcome your thoughts, however odd it felt for you to venture them. Now imagine your fiancé feels kind of like that when it comes to wedding.

10) Remember that men become wedding experts by having one.

Chances are, your sweetheart will open his eyes to wonder of a wedding by time rose petals are tossed. Forever after, he'll be examining friend's receptions with a practiced eye, and anticipating next excuse for a Really Big Shindig.

So keep him around, and count on throwing a first-rate anniversary celebration ten years down road. In a way, that'll be party that really matters, won't it?

Blake Kritzberg is the proprietor of: http://www.favorideas.com