3. Smile and Show Enthusiasm

Certainly you have encountered strangers who were sullen and appeared negative and unapproachable. A smile can change all that.

Have an open and inviting expression. Make good eye contact. People are DRAWN to others like this. Let that attractive stranger know you are open to meeting them and happy to be there. If they have an interest back, this will pave way for a first interaction.

If you don't feel like smiling it may be a good idea to sit this one out at home with a movie or a good book or a low-key get together with a good friend.

4. Present Your Best Appearance

Always make your best effort in your grooming and choice of clothing. Attractive is just that. It's not about having beautiful features or a fantastic body. It's all about presenting what you have in best light possible.

This also includes presenting an attractive personality. Be friendly, not pushy. Be open, not indiscreet. Have opinions, don't be a know-it-all. Always remember to consider others' feelings and needs. These interactions are not just about you.

5. Have Some Good Openings Lines Available

Hint: Natural conversation is best.

Some possible ones to consider:

*Do you know so and so? *I noticed you were enjoying music a lot, isn't this a great band? *Your drink looks good- what is it? *I noticed you standing here alone and thought you may want some company.

Of course, direct approach is ok too. *Hi, I'm so and so, what is your name?

Remember that there are no rules anymore about who goes first. If you see someone who interests you, go for it. Just remember that they may not return your feelings. Then you move away gracefully, look around for someone else that attracts you, and make an overture towards them.

Also remember that rejection is part of process. If you let fear keep you from taking that first step, you will greatly lessen your chances of meeting and connecting with compatible singles.

Toni coleman Helping Singles Find Lasting Love www.consum-mate.com Toni@consum-mate.com

The truth of matter is, no matter what anyone says, you can usually find some smidgen of truth in it. You can acknowledge they are right in some way.

“You are right” does not mean you agree to change anything. I say this over and over again—and it is hard for most ragers to comprehend. Someone telling me that I am selfish, self-centered and egotistical is not a request for a behavioral change. These are universal, human frailties. I make no commitment to change any behavior when I agree with my wife that I am selfish, self-centered and egotistical. It is not time to argue when you are deep in doghouse and your wife is ranting and raving at you.

When deep in doghouse, you should not explain your behavior, not defend your behavior and certainly not counterattack. Deep doghouse communication is about receiving message and validating her point of view. It is about receiving, not sending. Arguments get started when you try to send back when she is still sending. If you say, “Well, you haven’t always been around here either--How about two weeks you went to visit your mother?” that is gasoline on fire.

Many of you may be thinking, “But what if she isn’t right? Am I supposed to lie?” I suggest that you:

1. Say phrase, “You are right.” 2. Find some truth in what she is saying and agree with it. 3. Get your “but” out of way. Don’t say, “You are right, but…”

You can state your opinion when you get out of doghouse.