Had I ever done anything illegal or unethical on job? Ever spoke ill of any of my employers? Ever performed in a way that would cost a company money or customers? Absolutely not. My work ethic was such that I always gave 110 percent, always tried to do what was best for companies where I worked, and prided myself on seeing, suggesting and implementing improvements.

So what was my problem?

And then it finally occurred to me. It wasn't *my* problem at all.

I'd figured out pattern at last. Every time I got "sent to principal's office," (the phrase I began to use whenever I was called in for one of those chats with boss), it was a result of my frustration with what I felt was my company's short-sightedness. I'd rebel against silly rules, get discouraged when people whose greatest talent involved kissing butt were promoted, and yearn for compensation and perks commensurate with my contributions.

If I was willing to give 110 percent to my employer, it seemed reasonable to want 110 percent in return. Time and time again, I met with disappointment. And time and time again, my frustration with status quo would get me into hot water with boss.

What I failed to realize all along was that I was in fact Don Quixote, tilting at windmills. My initiative, my enthusiasm and my dedication weren't character flaws at all. They were merely misplaced.

The day I realized this was day I decided, once and for all, to redirect my focus into starting and building my own business.

On that day, my frustration disappeared. I stopped wasting my time and talent butting my head against brick walls, and began to use them to build foundation of my own dreams instead.

You see, I never had a "bad attitude" at all--simply a "right attitude" in a wrong work environment.

So, you've been told you have a bad attitude? Terrific! Use it to determine your own future and fuel your success.

5. Successful communication focuses on one thing at a time. Be specific. If you are giving negative feedback, be direct about what problem is, stick to topic, and avoid dragging in other problems. Instead of telling your teenager that you've been proud of her attitude lately, compliment an exact time she was willing to do something without a fuss. Instead of saying "Hey Chuck, nice work on that project", try "Hey Chuck, I really appreciate you working so closely with XYZ Vendor to get that equipment delivered on time".

6. Successful feedback focuses on things individual can do something about. Feedback concerning matters that are out of individual's control is not useful. It only increases a person's frustration to be criticized for something they can't do anything about. Reprimanding your teenager for spending too much time on an assignment is unfair since she can't control her teachers' requests. Expecting your associate to write a business letter same way you would is impossible since he can't read your mind.

7. Successful communication offers solutions. When you must give negative feedback to someone, always focus on what corrective action they can take. Be willing to give them support and tools needed to correct situation. Discuss options, or explain rules and clearly define consequences. The objective of successful communication is to help person view information as an opportunity to learn, instead of a threat. By offering specific examples, you will be able to relate how changing his behavior will help him achieve his goal.

8. Try using "feedback sandwich". A feedback sandwich is a language tool that assists you in giving clear and specific messages in an acceptable way. Begin with a specific praise, then your constructive advice using tools above, then additional praise. It's very important that your acknowledgments be true about individual, not just general positive statements.