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7. If you have time (e.g. between taking and returning a call), there is a valuable exercise that is useful in all sorts of conflict situations.
a) Take stock of yourself. In your imagination, put yourself in
confrontational situation, and simply notice what it is that you are feeling, experiencing and thinking.
b) Put yourself in
other persons shoes. Imagine yourself seeing through their eyes, feeling their feelings, and if it is a face to face confrontation, see yourself as they would see you, hear yourself as they would hear you.
c) Step out and step back. See
whole interaction with
both of you present. Observe this as an impartial observer, with
scene at eye level in your mind's eye. If you feel emotional at this stage, simply imagine "switching" that emotion into
body of
person it would be most appropriate for.
d) And come back.
The valuable thing about this exercise is that it enriches your understanding of
communication between you, giving you greater choice and greater objectivity, while allowing you
opportunity to empathise with someone in a situation where empathy could otherwise be difficult.

Adam Sargant is a freelance communications trainer with an interest in (among other things)dealing with angry and aggressive clients. His background is in NLP and nursing mentally disordered offenders, as well as running two succesful recruitment agencies. Personnel Development