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* Become a great conversationalist. Yes, anyone can master this. It's about focusing on
other person, deeply listening and offering interesting, upbeat thoughts and topics. With a stranger, keep it simple. After first exchange, ask them easy questions about themselves. Not too personal or probing. "So, if you come here a lot to eat, you must live/work nearby." "I've been here a few times, but don't think I've seen you before." Or offer something about yourself. "I'm a vegetarian and this is best shop for meatless sandwiches that I have found." You get it - safe, pleasant ways to ask about them, share about you and keep conversation going. "On nice days like this I often eat in park down street- want to join me?"
* Use common sense and take precautions with any strangers. He's very cute, but so was Ted Bundy. Never give out your home number, address or any personal information to someone you have just met "on street." Most people completely understand and agree with this kind of caution and would not be offended if you explained your need to only give a first name, work phone number or an email address. If this first meeting leads to an offer to get together again, accept by all means if it feels right. But plan to meet in a public place until you have more information about them. Once you have had a few meetings/dates, you can exchange home phone numbers and more personal information.
* Close deal. So, you two have been standing in line and talking while your sandwiches were being made. You are very interested and don't want to just say good-bye. What can you do? You can reiterate that you eat here a few times a week and tell them that you hope to see them on Wednesday at around noon. You can pick up on something they might have shared such as their participation on their workplace sponsored softball team. " My team will be playing on mall on Sunday at 4, when do you guys play?" Perhaps we will play opposite each other and can talk after game." Of course, there's always suggestion of eating your sandwiches together at that park down street...
Joining singles clubs and groups, posting personal ads and/or doing volunteer work are all great ways to try to connect with compatible, available singles. However, they are not only way. Many great loves started from chance meetings in couple's everyday world. So, get out there, really mingle and open your mind to possibility that when you go around next corner you will come fact to face with Mr/Ms Right.
Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist and relationship coach who has been quoted in many publications including: The Chicago Tribune and The Orlando Sentinel newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, and Star magazines. She has been featured on ABC News; Discovery Health Channel and AOL Online. She is a weekly contributing commentator on the KTRS Radio Morning Show, (St. Louis, MO). Toni founded Consum-mate.com in 2002.
