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Once when visiting Arizona I was planning a trip to visit friends in California I hadn’t seen in years, but I was experiencing a lot of symptoms. I debated whether to go and decided this was just not something I could pass on regardless of how I felt. I developed half a migraine on 
trip and trip was very hard on me, but in midst of this I visited my friends, ate Rice Dream ice cream and took a walk. The next day headache was gone and I went to ocean for first time in my life and had a spectacular time. I had another wonderful day visiting my friends following day and then went back to Arizona.
I was very happy I had pushed myself beyond my limits. If I had allowed my pain to control me I would have missed this incredible opportunity to spend time with friends, have a wonderful visit to California and enjoy magic of ocean.
Before going to Arizona I was full of fear of making this trip. I worried about what would I do if my car broke down on way and I ended up in middle of nowhere with no car and no safe place to live. I worried about all millions of symptoms I would have on my way there. A friend said to me “Cyn, no matter what happens, you will survive.” I was not so sure that they were right, but I held onto that and pushed myself beyond my fears and went anyway. Yes, I had a million symptoms on my way there and endured a great deal of suffering, but I survived and when I arrived I had improvement in my health once I hit dry air, made several wonderful new MCS friends, enjoyed most beautiful landscape and wildlife I have ever seen and found a lovely community I would like to live in hopefully some day. If I had allowed my fears to control me I would have never had this experience.
Sometimes you can be pleasantly surprised to find that endorphins released when you become absorbed in a fulfilling experience can temporarily relieve your pain. If you can become completely absorbed in happiness of moment you can transcend your symptoms for a period of time. Sometimes benefit you will gain after symptoms makes price worthwhile. But then there are other times when best thing you can do for yourself is to rest and pamper. The key here is balance so that you can continue to have a happy, enjoyable and fulfilling life.
Of course we want to be reasonable and not push ourselves too much, too frequently. We certainly would not want to push ourselves to attend a function in a building that has recently been pesticided or newly remodeled, but we can possibly attend an outdoor function where we may have some slight itching or a mild headache. It can be very tricky to find a healthy balance. Weigh out benefits versus suffering and participate in those activities that have most benefit and least amount of suffering and least amount of negative impact on your health.
My point here is that life is short. Don’t let your fear of your symptoms prevent you from living. Don’t let your pain control you life completely. Remember what’s most important in life (love, family, friends and spiritual fulfillment) Make love when you have a headache, read a book with your child when you are in great pain. Write that book even though you can barely stand up. Take a walk or go to ocean even though you are aching tremendously. Take risks and allow yourself to live in spite of your limits while at same time honoring your limits.
Being healthy does not mean being free of illness. It means being as complete as possible and living life as fully as possible within limits that you are faced with.
Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed. is a holistic health counselor specializing in issues of living with chronic illness, chronic pain and disability as well as sexual intimacy. She is also author of the inspirational E-Book “Finding Life Fulfillment when Living with Chronic Illness-A Spiritual Journey”. http://www.holistichelp.net/
