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Many of you are so miserable that you go home and cry through
night. You are holding on by a thread because you don’t know if you can keep this illusion going for much longer. I promise you if you will do work it will be worth it. I have been where you are, so I know from whence I speak.
How do you peal and reveal? I recommend you get a journal that is for your eyes-only. Write down five things that you hate about yourself. For example, angry, hostile, pessimistic, etc. Then write down what is good about those aspects. This will take some searching, but I promise you there is a hidden gift. Part of it is just idea of admitting that you hate something about yourself. When you get rid of secret you get rid of its hold on you. What is hidden will ultimately be revealed, so why not reveal it on your terms. There is a saying, What you don’t own will own you. We all have heard of guy who is real sweet but sometimes beats up his wife. This is what hiding anger does. It comes out explosively and towards someone else.
Some people recommend that you ask your friends and family to help you with this project. I do not advocate this for most people because some people have lived their lives based on what others will think or have thought of them. It is time for you to come face to face with you. Besides, in end it really only matters what you think of you. Others can project, but you must accept it. So peal back mask and see yourself for who you really are.
Fourth, forgiveness is an essential part of living authentically. You have to forgive yourself for lying. This is tough to do especially when you know some do not deserve our forgiveness. The strange thing about forgiveness is that it is not for other party, but for you. I like to live by premise of keeping short accounts. What offense is worth your peace? The biggest revelation to me was that there was very little that I was willing to lose my peace for. I want to be better not bitter. Make that your goal as well. Bitterness is a cancer that needs to be cut out or it will destroy you.
Forgiveness does not mean that you have to let individual have same relationship with you as before offense. It does mean that you will not hold it against them. Over time some will earn privilege of being a friend again, but trust must be earned. For example, If a dog bites you, you may forgive it, but that doesn’t mean you want it around.
Finally, authentic living requires letting go. You must let go of illusions, past, lies, and audacity. The audacity to believe that there is something wrong with everyone, but you. All of it has to go. Deep down you know truth. You are afraid that somehow you will give away your secret or worse, that someone else will expose you. What is secret? You are a fraud. You are pretending to be something you are not and denying who you are.
Authentic living is tough. It requires you to go into yourself and pull out junk, so you can find precious stone. It is not for weak or those who are looking for a quick fix. Authentic living is a lifestyle and it takes time to develop.
So don’t be afraid of failing or missing it, because only time you fail is when you have information yet choose to remain same.
: Delores Williams is a freelance writer living in Oklahoma City. Her writing is taken from different aspects of her life, or those close to her. She can be reached at delwilliams@gmail.com
