Now, let this be said, I’m not saying planning’s a bad thing, or dreaming for that matter. But it doesn’t escape my notice that a lot of future “projecting” I do isn’t peaceful. My teacher and friend Byron Katie is famous for saying “if you want fear on purpose, get a future, if you want shame, get a past.

How are you doing with staying in present moment?

Here are some tips I’ve learned that help me stay a bit longer in present moment.

1. When you find yourself imagining fearful scenarios ask yourself, “Is this only possibility?” Search for what else could be true, rather than what you fear.

2. Remind yourself that worrying about future or regretting past isn’t going to change what has or is going to happen.

3. Do you have a fundamental trust that whatever happens you’re going to be ok? Can you find times from your past that serve as evidence that this is true? If so, draw on that experience.

4. Are your basic needs met, does your life work? Often we move into future because we think it will be better there. Consider addressing what ever is not in balance so it will become desirable to be more in now.

5. Practice power of present. Focus on something positive or beautiful right here and now and breathe it in. Let yourself fully feel it.

6. Then, be willing to let go of that too and move on to next moment.

After our invigorating conversation my friend and I walked to waters edge to experience ocean. We both gasped when chill of water hit our bare feet. We laughed and looked at each other and both expressed joy of being able to share moment.

It’s YOUR life…imagine possibilities!

Kendra started to cry at this point, and little Kendra continued. "I’m so mad at you! When are you going to care about me!"

"So," I said, "You are a caretaker with your husband and friends. You take care of them but neglect yourself. You allow them to control you without standing up for yourself. Can you see how this would lead to depression?"

Kendra was quite stunned by this information. She had believed that her depression was caused by outside events rather than by how she was treating herself. She thought it was due to a chemical imbalance and to her husband’s controlling behavior. She may have indeed had a chemical imbalance that resulted from stress of not taking care of herself, but imbalance was likely result rather than cause of her stress and resulting depression. Her husband was indeed controlling but it was her response to him and others that was cause of her depression, rather than her husband’s or friends’ behavior.

Kendra began to see that until she had courage to take loving care of herself, she would continue to be depressed. Through practice, she learned to open to Elder One for guidance about loving behavior toward herself. As she began to take loving action for herself - for her Inner Child - her depression gradually diminished until she was able to get off medication. Now, when she feels depression coming up, she knows that there is some way she is not taking care of herself. She speaks with little Kendra to find out what it is and with Elder One to discover loving action. When she has courage to take loving action, her depression goes away. Kendra has learned a powerful, spiritually-based method for healing her depression.