Getting older doesn't mean you have to stop living. If anything,with time on their hands thanks to retirement, many seniors say they've really started living, at last, and are having "time of their life." Being active, involved, and interested in life keeps you young, no matter what your chronological age. Let go of your youth, and enjoy celebrating your next birthday as a major Life Milestone. You've earned it!

For a timeless lesson in life that has survived for over 3 centuries, supposedly found in Old Saint Paul's Church in Baltimore and dated 1692, remember "Desiderata" by an anonymous writer. This should be read with heart:

"Go placidly amid noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

"Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

"Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

"Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as grass.

"Take kindly counsel of years, gracefully surrendering things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

"You are a child of universe, no less than trees and stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt universe is unfolding as it should.

"Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

"With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy."

The healthy spouse dreams of cutting bait/jumping ship, but is filled with guilt and shame for "not being able to make it work." Worse, spouse feels overwhelmed, and in psychic pain. What's answer -- leave relationship, or dig in for long haul, no matter what? Again, this is one of those entirely personal decisions.

But who takes care of caretaker? For a brief article on what it means to be codependent in one writer's view, go to: http://www.mentalhelp.net/psyhelp/chap8/chap8g.htm Beacon of Hope offers help for partners of mentally ill: http://www.lightship.org/resource.htm/index.htm The National Alliance for Mentally Ill lists resources, at http://www.nami/org/ And for personal recovery stories of those suffering from depression or bipolar disorder, go to: http://www.chinspirations.com/mhsourcepage.storybook.html

If you find yourself in caretaker role for a person with a mental illness whose condition seems to be steadily deteriorating and you're at a loss about what to do next, it's likely that at some point you will need counseling for yourself. At very least, it may help you to understand what lies ahead, and to sort through your own options.