In all my relationships, everything went well until my partners suggested on serious commitments. I would then sabotage relationships.

I was not able to open up to anyone. I was very defensive when given any advice or opinion on my attitude and behavior.

When there were arguments, I clamped up or walked off. I never wanted to face any issues and resolve them.

And I would not cry in front of anyone no matter how sad or hurt I was. I remembered a time when my sister was badly wounded and hospitalized. I did not want anyone to see me cry. I walked away and cried my heart out alone in a secluded place.

I excelled in my career by putting in lots of hours and efforts. Now I realized that it was one way of escaping reality. I kept myself so busy so that I do not notice things that needed attention. I was using work as a means to avoid commitments.

There was one thing that I gained from experience of being abandoned. I was able to sit quietly alone for hours and reflect.

It has developed my fascination on nature’s beauty. I love feel of wind blowing on my face. I enjoy watching rain falling. And no matter how bad weather is, it is still beautiful.

I became curious about many things. I questioned others and myself about life and how some things happen to certain people. I wondered why people behave way they do. I looked for answers.

I have developed strength to persevere. But that is not enough. I want to become a survivor who is able to balance her life and enjoy abundance that universe has to offer.

I have decided to break myself free from shackles of my fragile upbringing. I promise myself that I will not allow my past to continue ruining my future.

This child has grown up and will not weep in silence anymore.

• Find something positive about what you are doing. As much as we hate paying taxes, and as much as we might disapprove of way many of our tax dollars are spent, there are some things we are in favor of. So think about roads, or fire department, parks–whatever it is that you feel positive about.

• Look for sensuality in situation. “What!?!” I can hear you say. Notice how things feel. Experience glide of pen over paper as you write those checks. Get into lemon-y fragrance of dish soap you’re using on refrigerator shelves. My husband loves to take trash out early on winter mornings because he stops and looks at stars for a few minutes. (OK, so maybe that’s not a good example. We know my husband is crazy; he married me.)

• Look for humor in situation. Even IRS and their ridiculous, incomprehensible instructions can be funny. I mean, who in their right mind would write like that? Can you imagine having that job? How about that green furry stuff in back of refrigerator? What if it’s a new kind of antibiotic? Play with crazy ideas and ridiculous concepts.

• Use positive, powerful language around chore. Instead of saying “Yuck. I have to take out garbage,” try “Hey. I get to take out garbage.” Substitute “I can” for “I must,” and “I choose” for “I have to.”

• Finally, stop worrying about it. Often, we spend more time dreading and fretting about doing something we dislike than we spend actually doing it. Plus, all that worrying and fussing only reinforces our dislike of job. It’s almost like doing it over and over again in our heads, instead of just doing it once, for real.

So there are a few suggestions on how to change your attitude about those nasty chores. Play around with them until you find one that works for you. Because if we can’t get rid of chores, at least we can change how we feel about them. And there’s no good reason for making ourselves feel miserable.

NOTE: You are welcome to use this article online in electronic newsletters and e-zines as long as it remains complete and unaltered (including "about author" info). If use of this article is desired in print, you must first contact Lynn Cutts at Lynn@ManageYourMuse.com.

Copyright 2005 Lynn Cutts