So, after forty days of paripatectic pondering in seclusion of "Hundred Acre Wood", (including 960 hours of going around in little circles, and 39 nights of counting sheep), they came up with a ground-breaking, politically-incorrect 'man-power' strategy (affectionately known as "PLAN-B").

Although stupendous plan was woefully short on details, at least election of an awe-inspiring 'Grand Pooh-Bah of Everything Important in Universe' was hailed as a neat way to boost flagging morale of lads. On second thought, it might also have had something to do with giving bureaucrats plenty of time to sharpen their pencils, or just an excuse to haggle over best bang-for-the-buck on how to save world from scourge of wimps and wusses.

If devil is in details, then they surely must have been lost forever in small print of all this blessed bumpf. And for those who missed out on "Grand Thoughts About Nothing Summit of Great Minds", there's still time to sign up for courses like "Where to Find Best Haycorns", "Useful Pots to Keep Things In", and "Knowledge Management for Bears of Very Little Brain".

After all, who in their right mind could refuse a mispelled engraved invitation to a seminar on "Hunny-Making Tips", a CD sampler of "Popular Hip-Hop Hums" not to mention a "smackeral of something" around 11 o'clock, plus a client feedback form covered with those ubiquitous smiley faces, and an autographed personal copy of "PLAN-B"?

No doubt prozac-popping Poohs, materialistically-challenged Rabbits, anxiety-disordered Piglets, donky-depressive Eeyores, hyper-active Tiggers, brilliant but dyslexic Owls, single-parenting Kangas with at-risk Roos and detached-personality Christopher Robins will find these amusing activities just a tad taxing on their simple cerebellums.

By way, play-with-your-food fanatics, petting zoo herbivores, and wee wabbit workers should definitely consider a career change. According to PLAN B, "Our mighty man-power strategy guarantees a marvellous, bright, new future for MANkind, especially those who pursue a challenging eco-adventure career in emerging field of heffalump and woozle hunting." ...Oh won’t that be fun tiddley pom! ...Another gold star tiddley pom. ...Ho hum tiddley pom.

LESSON FROM HUNDRED ACRE WOOD: If one whistles long enough while digging a Deep Pit to trap a heffalump or one wanders aimlessly in wilderness with a pot of honey to catch a woozle, one's definition of these elusive critters will vary with weather, one's appetite, and volatility of Animal Kingdom Happiness Index (AKHI).

But hold on now -- there’s something missing. After all, what would Halloween be without a little “scream cuisine”?

After checking out 1,940 websites devoted to goblin gourmet and other ghoulish goodies, there are oodles of things to whet whistle and appetite of hobgoblins and ghosts in your neighborhood.

Main Course:

-- Cervelle de Canut (Silkweaver’s Brain – an herbed cheese from Lyon, France) -- Cheesy Apple Fangs -- Cheese & Olive Fingers -- Crispy Bat’s Wings with Mushy Green Mash -- Goosebump Gravy -- Ghoulish Gruel -- Halloween Vegetarian Chili -- Spider Web Party Dip -- The Devil’s Salsa & Tortilla Spikes

Drinks:

-- Black Widow Fizz -- Bloody Marys -- Blue Witches’ Brew (...ha-ha) -- Cranberry Blood-Curdling Brew -- Pina Ghoulada

Dessert:

-- Banana Ghouls -- Black Cat Cupcakes -- Ghoulish Petites Fours (courtesy of Martha Stewart) -- Ghoulish Gooey Bars -- Langues de chat (Cat’s Tongues – a French Sugar Cookie) -- Orange Ooze Cupcakes -- Spooky Spider Cake

However, should a wisecracking whippet like George Bush Sr. kick up a fuss at your Halloween Feast Table by stamping his feet and shouting, “I’m President of United States, and I’m not going to eat any more broccoli!” …fear not.

Gently remind offending soul about Hannibal Lecter’s fondness for food and unpalatable friends, “I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti”, (from 1991 film, "The Silence of Lambs").

Now real question is … who knows what delicious delights wait to be devoured and by whom at your Halloween party!

Oh, and thought of eating frogs eyes, and pickled pigs toes doesn't grab you...why not visit Victoria and enjoy "Ghosts of Victoria Festival" -- a great way to kick back with lots of other weird and wonderful folk like you!