Woman or Man: “So, what do you think of me? Are you disappointed?”

For gosh sakes! Have some confidence already! Read signals. You will know if they are repulsed by you or attracted to you. I once had a date with a man that I had been communicating with over phone for some time. I really liked person he was over phone. About 20 minutes into our first face-to-face date, he asked me if I was disappointed. At time, I turned to him, put my hand behind his head, pulled him close enough to kiss and purred in his ear “Don’t ask me that again”. Had he had any clue or any confidence he would have read that very clear sign and let it go. He would have then had a chance at a second date. However, during rest of evening, he asked me that same question about a half dozen more times. This extreme lack of confidence made him much less attractive to me. So he stayed in friends category (you know, one men hate when there is no chance of sex), and I ended up in a relationship with his best friend who was funny and confident. So men and women, don’t forget, one of most attractive qualities is confidence without arrogance. Even if you don’t have it, fake it until you do!

Man: “I’ll call you later.”

Sure, this one is just fine if you really intend to do it. However, if you really find that you are not interested in this woman, just be honest and tell her “I had a nice time, but I don’t think that relationship is going to go anywhere.” The rejection may be harder to take at first, but it is easier than sitting around waiting for a phone to ring thinking someone is interested in you just to find later that they are not.

Man or Woman: “I used to come here all time with (insert name of ex here). We would always…..(blah-blah-blah)

Do not make mistake of talking about your previous relationships on your first date. This person does not need to feel like they are being compared or measured up to anyone else. After all, we are all a little insecure on that first date. Talking about past relationships is appropriate later in relationship and only if you are asked. Some people really just don’t want to know your relationship history. They are more interested in your present and future. So don’t offer up information before it is inquired about.

Men, I know this is old fashioned, but you should always treat on first date. It will show woman that you respect her and want to treat her well. This is going to give you a lot better chance of getting a second date…or even more.

Women, be gracious. If you are anything like me, you have a bit of a problem letting men be gentlemen. Letting them pick up tab without feeling like you should help, letting them open doors for you, and letting them pull chair out at table for you gives them a chance to be chivalrous. If you have found a man that is willing to do all of these things for you, accept it with thanks don’t fight it. Sometimes best thing you can do for another person is to let them do things for you and for you to appreciate it.

Try to relax. Go into this with attitude that if nothing else, you are making a friend. Fewer expectations lead to fewer disappointments. I am not saying you shouldn’t anticipate having a wonderful time, just don’t expect it. If you are lucky, you will hit it off wonderfully and be much more relaxed to enjoy it.

Lastly, don’t do anything out of a feeling of obligation. If you find you are not interested in this person whatsoever, you don’t have to stay. You are not obligated to spend a lot of time with someone that you just met. If you feel like your safety or (as it has been for me at times) your sanity is at stake, find a way to leave. If you can’t excuse yourself gracefully, then go out a back door. Remember your own safety and peace of mind is much more important than anything else. Pay attention to how you feel and act on it.

Now, get out there and have a stupendous time! It is time to really enjoy your life!