Most people visit Kanchanaburi for one main reason; The Bridge and its associated trivia, and on first impressions, I'm not. Impressed that is. It's too small. I'd seen film and was expecting something of epic proportions. And while nice enough it didn't really fulfill my expectations. Incidentally I soon learnt bridge is not actually over river Kwai as most westerners pronounce it. In Thai tonal language this translates as buffalo, stupidest animal around and a common mammal for insults. As all good learners of a foreign language do I soon picked up a few common insults and learnt that most insulting thing to call someone is a giant water monitor lizard or maybe son of....Any way back to my disappointing first gaze at bridge. My disillusionment was compounded when I found out during show in evening that it wasn't actually real thing but a replica, real one having been blown up by allies of course. We strolled across, and back again, got very hot and sought refuge in nearest restaurant. The good thing about Thailand is no matter how small bridges are you are never far away from good food. A dish I always have when I'm by river is yam plas muk and believe me there's nothing like taste of a spicy squid salad washed down with a cool Singa beer. Actually Singa beer is disgusting, but it sounds more romantic than Heineken. (A new beer has just come on market black tiger. Now that's a quality beer. Dark tasty and with none of formaldehyde aftertaste and resulting hangovers that Singa tends to bring. Sorry boomrang brewery.)

Almost right next to bridge and clearly signposted is Jeath war museum. No not a misprint. Now I know being in a forced labour camp must have been pretty bad death, disease, etc. but in photos, it looks like a holiday camp. Young bronzed men walking round in sarongs, doing their laundry, shaving, hardly any really gave me a sense of horror it must have been.

That evening we hit one of many stalls lining river in town and ate cheap delicious Issan food. With this fiery sustenance lining our bellies we headed into a bar opposite boats and enjoyed a couple of jugs of draft beer to accompaniment of live Thai music. I don't know whether it was for our benefit or not but I really didn't enjoy version of Country Road.

WHAT’S THE CUSTOM?

You never know. A street vendor in Saint Petersburg caught my eye and following took place, without any words. I “asked” if I could take his photo. He was flattered and agreed. I took his photo, then offered him $2. He shook his head no, no. I laid bills on his tray of matroyshkas. He pocketed $2, smiling, then handed me a doll and hugged me.

TELLTALE SIGNS OF REAL LIFE

What’s it like? Check out condition of vulnerable -- children, dogs, and seniors.

The children were all healthy, tall, muscular and well-dressed. (http://www.theintrovertzcoach.com/Moscow%20Park%20girl%20playing%203.jpg ). I never saw a parent disciplining a child, or any need for it. Evidently their whole life they hold their mother’s hand when walking-like up to age 60.

Check out playground at Moscow’s North Terminal Park (http://www.theintrovertzcoach.com/Moscow%20Park%20playground%20for%20kids.jpg ) and see how much they care about their kids.

The Babushkas were cheerful and healthy looking (http://www.webstrategies.cc/nancy_and_babushka.jpg ).

You’ve never seen such shiny-coated, healthy, well-fed dogs and cats.

TROMP L’OEIL

That means, in French, fooling eye—another reality check. There were two incidents of tromp l’oeil I’ll mention.

First, look at this Moscow apartment building: http://www.theintrovertzcoach.com/Moascow%20apartment%20building.jpg . Looks like a slum tenement, doesn’t it? “No,” laughed our guide, Toma. “We don’t take care of outside of buildings here. There are luxury apartments in there 2200 sq. ft.”

Second, here is Catherine’s Palace (http://www.hum.utah.edu/languages/images/photos/rusphoto32.jpg ). When you arrive in Moscow, you think buildings are huge. They are huge, but there’s something else going on, because you’ve seen huge buildings before. What they do is build with standard-sized bricks, then plaster over them, them paint them with marks as if they were made of bricks 4x standard size. Perception warp!

PRIMAL FEAR

Here’s an incident that called for some quick EQ. We were walking in Moscow’s Harbor Park where there were lots of families. I became enchanted with a little girl of about 2, with curls all over her head, and before I knew it, she ran to me, jumped into my arms and gave me a hug and a kiss. Meanwhile, out of corner of my eyes I could see two agitated parents closing in on me from either side.

This is reptilian brain -- fear of strangers, protecting your children, territory. Look out!

What would you do? Read more about this and other anecdotes in my eBook, “Using Your Emotional Intelligence When Traveling Abroad.” ( http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html )

EQ is truly a universal language!

©Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Offering emotional intelligence coaching to improve every area of your life; distance learning; business EQ solutions to avoid unnecessary litigation; EQ coach training and certification; ebooks. Isn’t it time you got it all figured out? Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE ezine.