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These were fears that I felt. The fear of
unknown. The fear of things beyond my control. The fear of venturing out of my comfort zone.
Well, to make a long story short, I did get some answers from various insights that came into my mind as retreat progresses. At end of retreat, I had already made up my mind - I was going to give it a try. I was going to trust in Lord to pull me through.
In my first attempt at facilitating, it was not easy. It was like double amount of preparation I had to do as a participant. I had to make sure meeting room, writing materials, meeting schedule, TV, video tapes, player, songs, refreshments and many other details were in place before meetings. Then I have to know lessons well. If not, I will have difficulty answering some of questions from participants. Then extra traveling time and expenses. Unfamiliar faces, unfamiliar presentation materials, keeping to time allocated, coping with new demands from participants as well as from core team members...
To make matters worse, there were also some people who made it a point to bring people down by discouraging them with remarks like, "It's too demanding for us. How can you ever hope to succeed?"
Yes, it was extremely difficult in first year. It was like process of refining silver. It was a tough test.
But after a while, I managed to pull through.
Today, I had already done four years of facilitating and I am looking forward to my fifth year. I share feelings of Saint Paul when he said, "... forget what is behind me and do my best to reach what is ahead." (Philippians 3:13)
There were difficult and trying times, but in all of them, outcome turned up to be good. I had learned a lot, deepened my knowledge and I had gained a sense of peace by letting go of control of situations and letting God take over.
Incredibly, not once was I too sick to carry on. Not once was I not able to fulfill my obligation to my class participants. God had blessed me.
God was in control all time!
Many years of involvement in Engineering and Discipleship has given the author material for writing e-books and articles related to engineering, management, and right living. He has also produced an e-book on "50 Secrets of Truth and Life" that is fully illustrated with cartoons in a humorous way.
