Its Not About Who's Right

Written by Maggie Vlazny, MSW

Continued from page 1

When you love you giverepparttar gifts of empathy andrepparttar 122010 benefit ofrepparttar 122011 doubt. You understand that your partner is probably feeling hurt beneathrepparttar 122012 anger. You try to understand and ask for help in understanding because you want to make it better.

When you are loved you receiverepparttar 122013 gifts of empathy andrepparttar 122014 benefit ofrepparttar 122015 doubt. You feel understood and appreciaterepparttar 122016 empathy and efforts of your partner.

The more you are given,repparttar 122017 more you receive. The more you receive,repparttar 122018 more you want to give.

It becomes a lot easier thanrepparttar 122019 win thing.

copyright Maggie Vlazny, MSW 2005

About the Author Maggie is an Imago Relationship Therapist and RCI Singles Coach. Services offered by phone, online, or in person at her Fairfield County, CT office. For more information please see or contact

Partners as Mindreaders

Written by Maggie Vlazny, MSW

Continued from page 1

Better would be: Honey, I feel so insecure when I see those gorgeous models on tv. Do you still want me like you used to? I guarantee you'll both get what you want with this straitforward approach!

Example of male mindreading: The man gets into bed and, figuringrepparttar bed is a mating mat even though he's been advised hundreds of time torepparttar 122009 contrary, mindreads that she really wants him tonight and is just too shy to come right out and say it (see above). He jumps her bones and either gets shoved off or she plays dead throughrepparttar 122010 whole thing (admit it, women: for spite).

Better: subtle communication works best here. Offer a back rub, or a foot rub, and very slowly work your way torepparttar 122011 desired destination. Give her some time to enjoyrepparttar 122012 relaxation and get inrepparttar 122013 mood. Minimal communication would be: does that feel good? Telling her why you love her or her specific physical attributes communicates that you still think she's hot. Don't expect her to mindread how sexy you think she is. We never get tired of hearing it.

Maggie is a professional couples counselor and singles relationship coach in Fairfield County, CT. See more at or contact

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