“Get a teaspoon,” said Brenda.

We put a little communion wine in teaspoon, floated a tiny fragment of wafer in it, I tipped it into Mother’s mouth, and she swallowed.

The presence of Holy Spirit of God, filled with peace and joy and love, was there with us in bedroom that day. I looked at Mother, and she had what I can only describe as a white light on her. I have seen this a few times in my life, on people who were exceptionally close to God. It’s something you see with your spirit rather than your eyes, yet on this occasion presence of God was so strong that I could even see it with my eyes. Brenda saw it too.

The Apostle Paul wrote, “We all, with unveiled face beholding as in a mirror glory of Lord, are being transformed into same image from glory to glory.” That’s what we saw on my precious mother that day: glory.

On Monday visiting nurse handed us over to hospice program. Tuesday brought hospice intake nurse, who made me feel better about a lot of things. She said, “Let your mother decide how much she wants to eat or drink. Don’t push her.”

“Doesn’t it hurt for her to get dehydrated?” I asked.

“No. We’ve found that dehydration doesn’t bother a person who is shutting down.”

And she was shutting down; we all knew it.

Then Mother’s world narrowed to two of us, communing over yogurt. She no longer knew how to chew or swallow, but she knew which flavor of yogurt she wanted. And she knew me. She always knew important things.

I would take a teaspoonful of yogurt and tip spoon so it flowed toward back of her throat. Then there was a pause. A long, long pause. And then her throat moved. She had swallowed that bite.

Then we began on next bite.

All of this took time. One-on-one time. Which was what made her so happy.

That was how she spent Thursday morning, May 22, 2003, her last morning on earth.

“Do you want strawberry yogurt?” She shook her head no. She had by then lost ability to say “yes” and “no,” but she remembered nods and shakes.

“Do you want blueberry?”

She shook her head no.

“Do you want raspberry?”

Her blue eyes were dancing with happiness as she nodded her head yes. It was just her and me and our little game, and she loved it. I will always remember light in her eyes during her last waking moments on earth.

After she had eaten, I put head of hospital bed back so she could take a nap. She went to sleep, and at some point in her sleep apparently had a major stroke. I tried several times to wake her, but she was deeply unconscious, and I could not. Finally, at ten that night, I went once again to try to wake her. As I stood by her bed, I saw that her breath was coming more slowly than usual.

And, as I watched, her breath came more and more slowly. Then there was one tiny breath, and she was gone.

God took her without pain, without distress. She was deeply unconscious all day, and stroke could have taken her at any time, but she went in two-minute period when I was standing beside her bed.

I believe she now has a new prayer ministry. We used to pray Prayer of Jabez for one another: “That You would bless me indeed and enlarge my territory.” Mother fervently wanted to enlarge her territory: she was sick of sitting in that bed in that bedroom.

Well, now she’s in new territory.

I asked her once, “When you get to heaven, will you keep on praying for me?”

“Yes yes,” she said. “Yes yes yes!”

I’m holding her to that.

Find the best recipe, food gift, and healthy dieting sites in Janette Blackwell’s Delightful Food Directory, http://delightfulfood.com/main.html. Or enjoy her country cooking at Food and Fiction, http://foodandfiction.com/Entrance.html.

I was fortunate enough to meet up with Bob Hiltz, a Christian gentleman who operates a EyreSpace Studios in Chatham, Ontario. (God sure works in mysterious ways) who listened to my story of how God let me write some songs, and how I wanted to use music to help others. The Spirit was moving that day, because Bob quickly agreed to take on this challenge with me, and first 10 songs were recorded for “In Your Presence".

Q: What inspires your music and how does your faith impact upon your creative process?

A: My faith has a huge impact on my particular creative process. Take God out of equation and I may as well hang up my guitar.

God's Word is a continual source of inspiration to me. There is so much written in Sacred Scripture, that every composer that ever lived combined could never write a song on every insight that Bible provides. Usually, I either meditate on a particular passage, or quietly contemplate portions of Liturgy of Hours, or writings of some of greats of Catholic literature, past and present (Henri Nouwen, Ronald Rolheiser, St. Therese of Lisieux, St. John of Cross). The themes just seem to progress from these. Sometimes melody is one that I've been working around as I go about my day, and I feel driven to match it to theme that has resulted from my prayer or reading.

It actually makes me a little uncomfortable to say “I wrote this" or "I wrote that". I think it's more appropriate to say God inspired this, and I was just blessed enough to be there when it happened.

Q: Do you have a personal favorite song on CD?

A: I think from a prayer standpoint, "Freely for You" (a repetitive Eucharistic hymn which we use at my parish and seminary) would be 'up there'.

I feel some loyalty to title track "In Your Presence" as it was song that started it all along.

Mind you, I would have to say my real favorite on CD is "Parable Song" which was inspired by God and my kids (who ask lots of questions about Bible).

Q: I know that you are involved in studies for a vocation in permanent diaconate. Has your music lent to this call to vocation? What are your hopes for your service as a Deacon?

A: All Christians are called to be of service to each other, to poor in our midst. But in a very visible and permanent way, deacons are called to bring Christ's presence to poor, marginalized, disadvantaged, and to be of service both inside and outside Church as ordained ministers in world. I see this music as an extension of that service, in (hopefully) bringing others closer to God, while using it as a vehicle to help fund ministries to poor inside and outside parishes.

I used to think I would really like to work with youth (that was me telling God what I thought I should do), but did an outreach placement this past year in a senior's residence/nursing home instead. I didn't think I could be effective or was cut out for this, but you know, it's amazing to me how God leads us somewhere and teaches us something - if we're willing to listen and learn. Of many things I learned from this experience , one thing stands out - as long as I'm mindful of Jesus working in my life, then I'll serve wherever God wants me...be that with music, counseling, prayer, listening- wherever.

Q: What are your goals for In His Presence and how can readers order CD?

A: I just want to use CD to help God's people.

I've had opportunity to play at a number of parishes around southwestern Ontario, with CD sales at concerts to successfully to raise funds for youth ministries in parishes, for assistance to food banks, and parish building funds.

In addition, I have a special place in my heart for St. Peter's Seminary, not only because it is where I am pursuing diaconal studies, but because of training it provides for future priests from Canada and a number of other countries around world. Profits from online and retail CD sales are going to seminary on an ongoing basis.

Your readers can check out retail locations or online shopping to order CD through my website www.smalltalentmusic.com and just follow link to 'buy CD'.

Q: Do you have any plans for future recording projects?

A: Actually I'm in process of heading back to studio with Bob to work on some Christmas and Advent music that also started up during retreat last year, and was added to during this year's retreat. I've always trusted Kathi's judgment in terms of what and when I should play, so she and God must know something I don't (yet). Beyond that, I have more songs in store, with no definite plans for them yet.

Q: Are there any additional thoughts you'd like to share with our readers?

A: I think if each of us took time to even pick up one small extra grocery item for a food bank on shopping day, made some donation to a shelter, took some time to visit elderly, or committed some other act of kindness, and did it with right heart (God-centered), we would be a sign of Christ to world, and would be more open to see Christ in others.

For more information about Chuck Stevens and his CD In His Presence visit www.smalltalentmusic.com

Lisa M. Hendey is webmaster of www.CatholicMom.com and www.christiancoloring.com, a wife and mother of two and a Christian music fan and supporter. Visit her at www.LisaHendey.com for more information