"That wasn't water in kettle."

"What was it?" her eyes were wide in alarm.

"CLR."

"Phfrttpfrt!!!!" she blurted out. Suddenly I felt like a soggy version of our sneeze-adorned walls. I love being part of a new fashion trend.

When both your wife and daughter are sick, housework suffers. Not only are there fewer hands to clean things up, but those hands are more needy than usual. So it was with particular pride that I had managed on day 4 of their cold to actually catch up on washing dishes.

OK, so I didn't quite catch up, but I was at point where stove and table were clear of dishes. This was partly due to my uncanny talent for balancing dirty dishes several layers high on counter, but it was also partly due to an hour-and-a-half of washing. All I could think was, "Nobody had better use any of these dishes after I spent so much time washing them."

SNEEZE!!! Oh no...more flamboyance. I put down dish cloth and headed to living room to survey damage.

As I entered living room...SNEEZE!!! I was becoming a professional sponge. All I needed was a certificate of authenticity to prove my credentials.

Before I could decide what to do next, I heard distinct sound of juice being mixed in very juice pitcher I had just finished washing.

I darted for kitchen. "Noooo. I just washed that pitcher. Don't dirty it already." I lunged at my startled wife, and it took only a second to realize how useful I would have been to Dallas Cowboys. And how useless I was in our kitchen.

It's no joy to be sick. It's even less joy when your child is sick. The most unjoy is when you AND your child are sick together. But if you want to be 100% free from all trace of joy, get sick while your child is sick and ask your sneeze-adorned husband to tackle you in kitchen while you are trying to mix juice to wash taste of CLR from your mouth.

This change in how we can show our care and compassion towards others applies to everyone regardless of age. Try it next time a coworker is grumbling about boss. Ask them, "Well, what do you think we should do to start making changes around here?" The next time your teenager starts sniveling about how unfair life is, ask them, "How do you propose we make it more fair for everyone involved and not just you?" When you find your spouse looking like they're close to tears, ask "How can I help you to feel better?" These types of questions get person looking forward towards a time when they might not be miserable anymore.

With little kids especially, it would really help to use these kinds of questions to mold their original understandings about problem solving. It's better to get them used to looking towards creating a life they find joyful rather than towards finding fault with world. We cannot just fix everything for them, and we cannot teach them to whine and complain. We have to teach them that it is possible to turn adversity into opportunity. We really owe it to our children to teach them how to open up and ask for help when they are overwhelmed. At same time, we have to make sure they know they will be solving their own problems. It's never too soon to teach our children how to take responsibility for what kind of experiences they are having. Help them when really need it, but most of time they just need to be reminded that they're perfectly capable of fixing it themselves.

Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge