It's Broke, Sam - Time To Fix It!

Written by Robert M. Ziegler


Continued from page 1
present laws, many of which are over 200 years old, need to be updated to reflect what's going on in TODAY'S world. Continuing to live by ancient laws is allowing almost any individual and their attorney to challenge, reverse or eliminate practices and beliefs we have incorporated into our lives for hundreds of years. Eliminate these antiquated legal loopholes, and keep American laws up-to-date to protect whatrepparttar "majority" wants, and not what some ofrepparttar 111057 oddball minorities demand!

None


How Optimism can Help – or Hurt – Your Marriage

Written by Dr. Tony Fiore


Continued from page 1

Pessimistic scenario

Unlike Optimists, pessimistic partners make permanent and pervasive explanations to themselves when bad events occur. (Conversely, they make temporary and specific explanations to themselves when good events occur.)

See what happens when Susie is late coming home fromrepparttar office. Husband Jim explains to himself that “she cares more about work than about me!” Susie explains to herself Jim is sulking because “he is ungrateful forrepparttar 111056 big paycheck I bring home!” and tells him so.

Jim defends himself by saying: “You never listen to me when I try and tell you how I feel!” Susie, being a pessimist, responds: “You’re nothing but a crybaby!”

Optimistic Scenario

Either partner could have stopped this negative spiral by interpreting events differently. Jim could have interpreted Susie’s lateness as a sign of what a hard worker she is and noted she is usually on time. Jim could have seen that her lateness had nothing to do with her love for him, remembering allrepparttar 111057 times inrepparttar 111058 past that Susie has put his needs first.

Susie if she had been an optimist could have seen that Jim’s sulking was a temporary state rather than a character flaw and tried to pull him out of it by pointing out that she really wanted to get home earlier, but her big account unexpectedly dropped by at 5 o’clock.

The optimistic marriage

The message is clear from both clinical experience and research; optimism helps marriage. When your partner does something that displeases you, try hard to find a believable, temporary, and specific explanation for it, i.e.: “He was tired;” “She must really be stressed,” instead of “He’s always inattentive,” or “He’s a grouch.”

Onrepparttar 111059 other hand, when your partner does something great, amplify it with plausible explanations that are permanent (always) and pervasive (character traits), i.e.: “She is brilliant,” or “She is always atrepparttar 111060 top of her game,” as opposed to “The opposition caved in,” or “What a lucky day she had.”

Dr. Tony Fiore is a So. California licensed psychologist, and anger management trainer. His company, The Anger Coach, provides anger and stress management programs, training and products to individuals, couples, and the workplace. Sign up for his free monthly newsletter "Taming The Anger Bee" at www.angercoach.com and receive two bonus reports.


    <Back to Page 1
 
ImproveHomeLife.com © 2005
Terms of Use