Sort through what you’re feeling, being honest with yourself. Is their pig-headedness or lack of focus reminding you of yourself at your worst? Is it bringing about emotions in you that stir when you ARE being pig-headed or scattered?

Emotional Intelligence means putting a pause between emotions and response. It means allowing emotion to process and learning from it, and then using your thinking brain to come up with a purposeful response. Sometimes it may mean not responding at all. If you do respond, you need to put some thought into it. Don’t let it be just an automatic reaction to what’s going on. That doesn’t help you, doesn’t help other person, and doesn’t help situation.

One of times we’re most likely to self-sabotage is when we’re in midst of a strong emotion. Learning to experience and process emotion, and then make a positive response is what Emotional Intelligence is all about.

Of all ways to do this, best way is to simply be a resource of expertise, amusement or information.

Why is this best? Simply put, it's this; you are building relationships.

If you become a bookmark, a first place to go to find out about this or that, people are more likely to buy from you on strength of that relationship.

If you "deliver goods" in one way, with a proven track record, well, they'll trust you with their money.

But if you try and "sell" them - you will be scrabbling for same 2 percent that every other online marketer is targeting.

The other day I was looking into steel buildings. I have a large property with decaying structures; I need options and information.

The first several sites were full of hype; first one popped consoles and required that I give them my name, address, email address and phone number so that "a consultant might contact me."

I was not looking to be "sold," I was looking to find out what would be good for me to buy.

So people that got my bookmark were those that told me all about steel buildings, what sorts of wind loads they can tolerate, how they can be assembled, what rough cost per square foot would be, and who provided a one-stop solution for every ancillary part I might need.

It wasn't a "sales brochure." It didn't try to "sell" me. It respected my choices while making it utterly simple for me to buy anything from a steel building to a screen door if I had a mind to. They were looking to establish a permanent relationship.

My wife sells Mary Kay cosmetics. The link goes to "her" website.

By itself, it's not a great sales tool, it's decidedly impersonal - but as a convenience for her clients, it's invaluable.

Most of her clients are her friends. That's whole Mary Kay business model and it works very well indeed.

You see, you don't lie to your friends, and you don't cheat them, so they come back - and they bring two of their friends. There's nothing magical about this secret to success. If you have something people want, and they like you, they will buy from you as part of their relationship with you.

Here's one of her best-selling products: Blemish Control Toner* Formula 3 (Acne Medication)

Why? Well, she has acne, and she's a slow healer. Suddenly, she's not covered in oozing spots covered in concealer, and she's willing to share that secret. There's no amount of hype that can equal such obvious results.

And yes, were I to hype it, it would be worth hyping. Whatever secret botanical formula or secret ingredient is in it to promote healing is very effective.

That's other half of secret to success. Never lend your good name to unworthy things. There are ten thousand products and services you could sell. Market something you'd buy yourself. Market something you honestly are unwilling to do without. Market something you are passionate about.

Life is just too short to spend 80 hours spinning gold from straw, folks, and it's also too short to fill it up with people who resent having done business with you once.

Profit is not measured just in dollars; it's measured in a network of relationships, by how much of a difference you made.

My personal inspiration is Dave Thomas, particularly now that he's dead.

You don't see pictures of Roy Kroc in a place of honor at McDonald's.

The difference is this: A good burger at a fair price, rather than an acceptable product with highest possible profit margin.

largess. Generosity. Open-handedness and passion. They make difference between road to "success" and a life that is successful. Which do you prefer?

Bob King is author, editor, artist, webmaster, poet and occasional photographer of the portal/blog Graphictruth.