“The best description I’ve heard of difference between introverts and extroverts is that introverts get energy by being alone and extroverts get their energy from other people. That’s my experience exactly! I love being around people, but it drains my energy and I need quiet, alone time to restore balance. I love being alone in nature. It feeds my soul - - as do music, art, beauty . . . . I still would mostly rather experience this alone, than share it with a friend (there are exceptions, of course!)

“The plus side to being an introvert is that I do enjoy a rich inner life. I feel that I’m more inner directed than following any external norm or cultural values . . . . The down side is, I don’t often feel validated by world - - much of my life I did not feel like my gifts, talents were welcomed or received. I had a different way of knowing, perceiving, expressing, carrying information, and often kept silent because of these multitude of experiences of put downs, ridicule, shame. I know I was often perceived as shy, weak, passive, opinion-less, just because I didn’t speak out.

“So - - it’s often been a lonely life. I don’t readily open up to people until I know and trust them. I often feel vulnerable because my energy often spins inward and I can become an easy mark for taking on other people’s stuff, unless I protect myself.

“At same time, all this can be a powerful gift. As an adult, I’ve created work that fits my personality, uses my intuitive skills and empathic nature and allows me to share my gifts. What a blessing!

“Growing up, I always longed to “find my people” because I sure didn’t feel like I belonged in my family. As an adult, as I’ve found more and more people like me, who I can resonate with (mostly through women’s consciousness groups and other healers and artists), I’m finally feeling more “at home”.

“As an introvert I tend to gather my seeds and nurture them in quiet and darkness of inner world - - rather than being anxious for them to sprout and grow and be visible in outer world. In my journey toward wholeness, I’ve found peace in balance as my inner and outer worlds merge more easily.”

Because I was quiet and downright stoic when angry, my mother said to me in high school one time when she was angry, "I don't know how you expect to be a doctor when you can't talk to people". I was totally crushed and this statement caused me to completely forego my dream of becoming a doctor. I now know that this was ultimately for best, but at time those words devastated me.

As introverts, we have learned first hand that words are very important and have power to uplift or destroy, so we chose ours with care. The written word is powerful, but spoken words have even more weight and consequences and careless words can wound deeply. We know because people have been wounding us our whole lives. The worst part is that most of those that hurt us are completely unaware of effect they've had and blithely continue on as we're stricken mute from dagger thrust of their words.

That's why voicemail, answering machines and internet are introvert heaven. Sometimes I cannot stand thought of talking to another person. I don't care if that person is my best friend in whole world. Sending email so you can write/rewrite exactly what you want to say before you send it is a gift from gods.

Our silence doesn't mean that we agree with you; usually, it's not worth effort to set you straight--even if we could get a word in edgewise. Don't be surprised if later we say or do something contrary to what you've said or think. I must say that I'm learning, finally, in my middle age to be more aggressive and assertive in my speech. Sometimes I just have to set record straight and won't allow someone to talk over me.

I've learned as a manager or meeting facilitator to draw quiet people out with pointed questions, allowing them their say. Usually, they have good ideas and input. I know how it is to have something to say and be out-maneuvered or out-talked by a group of extroverted people.

Extroverted friends don't always take "no" for an answer. I find myself making up a lame excuse or outright lying because they cannot accept phrase "I don't really want to, thanks". How pathetic is that? After you've said no to their needling to get you to do something three or four times, you're forced to come up with something they deem "acceptable" as a reason you don't want to spend time with them. It's because they can't fathom anyone actually wanting to be alone with only themselves and their thoughts for company.

Elizabeth describes in herself many of characteristics that are normal for introverts. For this reason, her experiences may sound quite familiar. Elizabeth mentions her quiet nature, her love of reading and her desire to be in her room with door closed. These are all routinely misunderstood by her family members. Introverts need time alone to fill up with energy because they give energy and extroverts take energy.

Another typical introvert characteristic that Elizabeth mentions is her method of communicating. Introverts don’t talk very much, not because they are unintelligent but because they don’t like to say anything unless it is significant. Introverts get no value out of saying things out loud either. That’s not way they learn. Introverts like Elizabeth also need time to think things over. When they do speak, if it’s important, they say it in a quiet voice. Like Elizabeth, most introverts adore email and feel like internet was invented just for them! Elizabeth also brings up another critical thing to remember about introverts. Don’t assume because they don’t say anything that they agree with you. This is obviously quite important if you are in a significant relationship with an introvert or marketing to the!