The narcissist's guarded detachment is a sad reaction to his unfortunate formative years. Pathological narcissism is thought to be result of a prolonged period of severe abuse by primary caregivers, peers, or authority figures. In this sense, pathological narcissism is, therefore, a reaction to trauma. Narcissism is a form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder that got ossified and fixated and mutated into a personality disorder.

All narcissists are traumatized and all of them suffer from a variety of post-traumatic symptoms: abandonment anxiety, reckless behaviors, anxiety and mood disorders, somatoform disorders, and so on. But presenting signs of narcissism rarely indicate post-trauma. This is because pathological narcissism is an efficient coping (defense) mechanism. The narcissist presents to world a facade of invincibility, equanimity, superiority, skilfulness, cool-headedness, invulnerability, and, in short: indifference.

This front is penetrated only in times of great crises that threaten narcissist's ability to obtain narcissistic supply. The narcissist then "falls apart" in a process of disintegration known as decompensation. The dynamic forces which render him paralyzed and fake - his vulnerabilities, weaknesses, and fears - are starkly exposed as his defenses crumble and become dysfunctional. The narcissist's extreme dependence on his social milieu for regulation of his sense of self-worth are painfully and pitifully evident as he is reduced to begging and cajoling.

At such times, narcissist acts out self-destructively and anti-socially. His mask of superior equanimity is pierced by displays of impotent rage, self-loathing, self-pity, and crass attempts at manipulation of his friends, family, and colleagues. His ostensible benevolence and caring evaporate. He feels caged and threatened and he reacts as any animal would do - by striking back at his perceived tormentors, at his hitherto "nearest" and "dearest".

3. Never write a check to a child support agency or disbursement agency, money will not get to intended party.

4. If custodial parent says “I’m not getting my child support payments”, and you know you are paying support, they may be right. Check it out. Once or twice a year names of those who may be owed undistributed funds are recorded in local legal newspapers, or posted on state web site under unclaimed property. 5. Custodial and Non-custodial parents must notify child support agency and disbursement agency when there is a change of address. If you don’t inform them your support may be held by state and not disbursed.

Over $100 Billion in accumulated unpaid support should raise a few eyebrows. It means there are child support payments out there that are not getting to children who need it most and government is not doing enough to address this issue. The next time someone suggest that a dad or mom stopped paying child support, investigate. Just because you did not get your child support money does not mean it was not collected.