Recall wisdom of first century Jewish scholar, Rabbi Hillel: "If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? If I am only for myself, then what am I? If not now, when?"

Perhaps in this Election Year, and in these days when earth cries out with pain, we are called to be spiritual midwives, that by our actions, we may bring our values to birth, and serve needs of a troubled and hurting world.

2.Respect is equally important. Respect means refraining from anything that would cause one’s spouse to lose face or to be embarrassed (especially in public). But it also means doing those little things that make other person feel important and appreciated.

3. Communication has also been a big part of our marriage. We have always been able to talk it out and it has kept us together, even at times when life has been a roller coaster. Unfortunately, many have walked when they should have talked.

4.Finally, though many other things could be mentioned, independence must be added to list of things that work in marriage. Even though spouses come to naturally depend on each other for many needs, healthy relationships provide space – often. In children, smother love has been known to bring on asthma. In marriage it causes resentment.

As I said in outset, these are things that have worked for us. You could probably add to list. However, whatever we might add to list would likely be an additional manifestation of one common quality – absolute devotion to one’s spouse.

BARBER-OSOPHY: The best advice in world won’t work if we won’t.