I Yelled at My Kids

Written by Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC


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If in our lifetime we could speak to our kids with a voice this sweet, it would be enough.

But until we reach this level, what should we do after we yell at our kids?

Here are five ideas:

1.Recover quickly – Recovering emotionally (or faking your recovery) will make it much easier on your children and show them how to be resilient themselves.

2.Apologize, but don’t overdo it – It’s important to say you’re sorry, but don’t dwell on it and don’t show signs of pity. This will help create a victim of your child faster thanrepparttar drop of a hat.

3.Avoid finding ways to blame them – It’s incredibly easy to blame your kids when you’re angry. It’s OK to say, “When I saw you hit your brother I felt angry,” but avoid saying, “You made me angry.” You’re responsible for your own anger—teach this to your children.

4.Processrepparttar 111135 incident with them – Children can be traumatized by yelling, and it helps to talk about what happened for each of them. Ask them questions about it and allow them a chance to talk about it if they’d like.

5.Don’t beat yourself up about it – You don’t have to envision your kids twenty years from now telling their therapist how you screwed up their life! Kids are pretty resilient and they’ll recover, especially if you follow these steps and keep working on yourself.

While we’re not perfect, we can still search forrepparttar 111136 voice as “sweet asrepparttar 111137 murmur ofrepparttar 111138 brook andrepparttar 111139 rustle ofrepparttar 111140 corn.”

It might even keep your kids out ofrepparttar 111141 therapists’ chair.



Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches men to be better fathers and husbands. He is the author of “25 Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent Fathers” http://www.markbrandenburg.com/father.htm For more great tips and action steps for fathers, sign up for his FREE bi-weekly newsletter, “Dads, Don’t Fix Your Kids,” at http://www.markbrandenburg.com.




Fathers and Sons

Written by Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC


Continued from page 1

I feel fortunate to have spent those last hours with him and that I could express my love to him, though I felt out of character in doing it. I only wish that it had occurred years earlier.

As a father myself, I’ve brokenrepparttar male mold. I freely express my love not only for my wife but for each of my children. Rarely does a day pass that I don't talk with my kids, always endingrepparttar 111134 conversation with an "I love you".

I'll berepparttar 111135 first to admit that life is not always a bed of roses, and that developing strong family ties requires patience and perseverance. But I’m incredibly proud ofrepparttar 111136 family relationships that we've developed and nurtured in our children.”

Millions of today’s fathers grew up with fathers who were unable to express their love directly. And yet so many of these fathers have been able to express their love to their own children.

They’ve done it because they knowrepparttar 111137 pain of not receiving that love. They know how absolutely vital their expression of love and acceptance is for their kids. And they’ve moved pastrepparttar 111138 discomfort of expressing their love for their kids so that they may thrive.

This is an acknowledgement torepparttar 111139 courage of allrepparttar 111140 fathers who have ”brokenrepparttar 111141 mold.”

If our world is to change, it won’t be without love from our fathers.



Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches men to be better fathers and husbands. He is the author of “25 Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent Fathers” http://www.markbrandenburg.com/father.htm For more great tips and action steps for fathers, sign up for his FREE bi-weekly newsletter, “Dads, Don’t Fix Your Kids,” at http://www.markbrandenburg.com.




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