I could give you philosophical and theological reasons why but they are little consolation to someone suffering. I think what is important is to tell you what I’ve learned about God’s silence. It has taken me 50 years, but I’ve learned something very important about God. I can’t get him to do what I want, because He does only what He wants me to do. Yes, it has taken me many years to get this important point, but I’ve finally gotten it. God is not going to work for me unless I allow Him to work through me. That requires surrender on my part.

A couple years ago, I woke up and said, “Lord not my will, but Thy will be done.” From that day until present time, I’ve rested in Him. I’ve stopped trying to explain God’s actions and started trusting Him through every circumstance in my life. I’m at peace with God, not because I can explain His ways. I can’t. I’m at peace with God because I trust Him to do what is best. I can agree with father Abraham, “Shall not Judge of all earth do right?” (Gen. 18:25) And Job, also, “For he will not lay upon man more than [is] right” (Job 34:23) and “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him” (13:15). After all, God owns me. He can do as He desires.

Keep faith. Stay course. Jesus is coming soon.

Pastor T.

The comment he makes about 'leaving no traces' is quite a propos when taken in historical perspectives of what has gone on throughout history. Marsha is an Aquarius and had fully explored her psychic attributes. At this juncture I only knew a little of how important this is to me and finding my purposeful 'fit' in relations with other people. It did not surprise me that she saw 'little people'. In reality I would have doubted their existence if she had not seen them. There were other aspects of this one and only trip to Europe that made me aware that my relationship with Sherry had major difficulties. Calling Marsha had included thought that I would change my commitment to Sherry and marry Marsha, but I never discussed this with Marsha. When I talked with her I still found my love for Sherry was strong and my refusal or stubbornness Vis a Vis psychic or spiritual 'hand of fate' was something still rampant in my psyche. Sherry has always been able to relate to these things and has learned a great deal but there was always a gap or need for further proof that separated us. Perhaps it was a matter of ego and my need to be teacher that didn't exist in relationship with Marsha. Maybe I am a martyr or masochist but I continued to put Sherry on a pedestal.

There was a never ending stream of psychic things happening in my life. It became ordinary and in some ways less important. It was just parlour games or tricks and traps if I wasn't going to really do something with it. That requires a great deal of courage though; people are frightened and threatened or they think you are bragging when you share these things. The resultant projections of these fears and supposed motivations upon me were not something I could easily deal with due to real joy and ego satisfaction they have always brought me.