Continued from page 1
In
first instance, we're being told about her embarrassment, not how she behaves when embarrassed. Now, take another character, who perhaps becomes angry when she's embarrassed and
sentence would read like this:
"She clenched her fists and scowled, enraged he would embarrass her with such lewd comments."
By fixing
reader deeply into
character, there is no need to tell them she felt, or she saw,
writer simply needs to show what that characters feels and sees. As in a character who has a background in fashion design might look at a sunset and see:
"The glowing sun cast
landscape in vermillion and gold, a combination she could use in
fall designs."
Or another character, who is a romantic at heart, might see
same sight and think:
"The glowing sun cast
landscape in vermillion and gold, a lush and perfect backdrop for her date's handsome face.
Neither of
above would have quite
same impact if
writer used:
"She saw
glowing sun cast
landscape in vermillion and gold."
Working with you're characters, their experiences, and learning to show their thoughts rather than telling them, will enliven your work and carry
story to
next level.

Author of dozens of articles and award winning short stories, Jennifer Turner offers caring and concise critiques for aspiring authors without the high cost of big business editorial services at, ROTO-WRITER CRITIQUE SERVICE http://jturner.00books.com/index.html