I Am a Grinch

Written by David Leonhardt


Continued from page 1

"But you don't have a tree out front, Uncle Albert."

"Right there," he pointed. "Acrossrepparttar street. Hey Wilson! Stop blowing out my candles!"

"You lit candles on your neighbor's tree?"

"Ha! A lot of good that will do me," Uncle Albert sighed. "You would thinkrepparttar 118223 ingrate would appreciate a little Christmas spirit now and then. Hey Wilson! Get some Christmas spirit, you overgrown porcupine pimple!"

"Maybe some people don't wantrepparttar 118224 Christmas spirit all year 'round?"

"Don't be silly, Happy Guy. Everybody wishes it to each other," he replied. "Mayrepparttar 118225 Christmas spirit last all year. But it never does. You know why?" "I'm afraid I am about to find out."

"Because nobody wants to do all those things they sing so nostalgically about," he harrumphed.

"Maybe we just need some new Christmas carols. Instead of trying to make reality fitrepparttar 118226 songs, why not sing songs that fit reality?"

"Funny you should mention that," Uncle Albert exclaimed. "I wrote one justrepparttar 118227 other day. Want to hear it?"

"Uh...sure."

"Here comes another Yule, let's spend like a fool. Push 'n' shove atrepparttar 118228 store, to buy even more. Light uprepparttar 118229 lights, there'll be no star in sight. Turn uprepparttar 118230 furnace, this world we will burn it. Chop down a tree, chop another down with glee. Wilson is a grump, such a whiny chump. (Likerepparttar 118231 personal touch?) This year let's all cheer it, Whoo! I love this Christmas spirit. "

"That's very original," I observed. "I am sure there must be a market for just such a song...somewhere."

"That's what I thought," Uncle Albert beamed. "Heh, heh. This could even make me rich, rich rich! Ha! Take that, Wilson."

"That'srepparttar 118232 Christmas spirit, Uncle Albert."

The author is David Leonhardt. Sign up for his weekly satire column up at http://TheHappyGuy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html or read more columns at http://TheHappyGuy.com/self-actualization-articles.html . Or visit his home page at http://TheHappyGuy.com .


A Visit from St. Customer... A Landscaper's Tale

Written by Jack Stone


Continued from page 1

And so St. Customer bought out everything inrepparttar store. His crew loaded it up and . . .

He sprang to his truck, to his crew gave a whistle, And away they all flew likerepparttar 118222 down of a thistle; But they heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!" __________________________________________

Aboutrepparttar 118223 Author:

Jack Stone is a Contributing Editor for ProGardenBiz Magazine, an online magazine for professional gardeners and landscape contractors. Visit ProGardenBiz to find out how you can get a free subscription, start-up guidance, business ideas and inspiration at http://www.progardenbiz.com. __________________________________________

You have permission to publish this article electronically or in print, free of charge, as long asrepparttar 118224 bylines are included. Must be published complete with no changes. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated.

Jack Stone is a Contributing Editor for ProGardenBiz Magazine, an online magazine for professional gardeners and landscape contractors. Visit ProGardenBiz to find out how you can get a free subscription, start-up guidance, business ideas and inspiration at http://www.progardenbiz.com.


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