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Fortunately, I controlled remote control in beginning. The cunningness of my wife soon came to forefront. I had no idea that she, mother of my children, would play dirty. At times, I regret being such a gentleman. Let me show you what I mean.
I had remote control for about 20 minutes when my wife said, "Honey, I left a book in car. Would you be a Dear, and go to car and get it for me?"
Without pausing to think, something quite common for me, I laid down remote control and headed for door. Quick as a flash I retrieved book from car. When I get back to room my wife was sitting on bed, with pillows behind her and remote control in her hand.
But more than that, a grin was smeared all over her face.
I had been snuckered. And this would not be last time.
That was Monday. On Tuesday, I finally regained control of remote control and was right in middle of an old Western movie when my Beloved made her next move.
"Honey, I'm so thirsty, would you go and get me a soda from machine down front?"
Again, without thinking, I rose to occasion and bolted for door on what I thought was an errand of mercy. When I returned with ice-cold soda, there my Beloved was, sitting on bed, with pillows behind her and remote control in her hand.
By Thursday, I was catching up. Early in morning, I possessed remote. I think my mistake on Thursday was feeling a little too confident in myself. Around 4 o'clock in afternoon my wife looked at me and said, "You really need to take a shower."
The tiny gray cells were not vibrating, and I immediately headed for bathroom and took a shower. On coming out of bathroom, I was greeted with her sitting on bed, with pillows behind her and remote control in her hand.
Again, that familiar smirk was smeared all over her face.
I must confess, and it's hard for me to do it, but my wife is a better loafer than I am. It looks like in 2005, control will be a remote possibility for me.
The key to a solid marriage relationship, however, is not control but consent to mutual respect. "Submitting yourselves one to another in fear of God." (Ephesians 5:21 KJV.)
Rev. James L. Snyder is an award winning author and popular columnist living in Ocala, FL with his wife Martha.