Written by B. Blitterlees & E. Craboon

Continued from page 1

February 10: SHOW & TELL DAY (okay it’s about time to haul out your really neat travel slide show of your trip to Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan with spell-binding commentary!)

February 11: THE-RIGHT-WAY-TO-DO-IT DAY (remember what Mum taught you to use a knife and fork, or other vital stuff like how to install a toilet paper roll correctly)

February 12: FIRST-IN-LINE DAY (finally an occasion celebrating persons whose surnames begin with “X”, “Y” or “Z” everyone else, kindly step torepparttar back ofrepparttar 118099 line!!)

February 13: FREE LUNCH DAY (now you can call in your markers and collect all those outstanding IOUs you’ve been saving for a rainy day – WOW are you ever lucky!)

February 14: SLINGS & ARROWS OF OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE DAY (how else do you expect to bewitch a beautiful beast; and no chocolate unless it’s made of soy or tofu twat)

February 15: FLY YOUR OWN FLAG DAY (now where did I put that “Jolly Roger”?)

February 16: GONAD GAMES DAY (better known as 'potentate pissing contests')

February 17: RED DEVIL AWARENESS DAY (time to sprout horns, wear red tights and carry a booming great pitchfork to scarerepparttar 118100 heck out of your favorite Nemesis naturally)

February 18: DR. SEUSS APPRECIATION DAY (hint: try raidingrepparttar 118101 kids’ room because you’ll need allrepparttar 118102 help you can get just to speak in riddles and rhymes all day long)

February 19: HOPSCOTCH AWARENESS DAY (time to go back to elementary school at recess time; hope you can hop, skip and jump...if not, you'd better hire a kangaroo)

February 20: FINGER FOOD APPRECIATION DAY (fee fie foe fum’s especially good news for weight-watchers, picky eaters or those wanting to ditch dishwashing duty)

February 21: CHOCOLATE ICE-CREAM FOR BREAKFAST DAY (in honor of taboo treats parents tell you not to eat forrepparttar 118103 first meal ofrepparttar 118104 day or you’ll suffer a fate worse than death)

February 22: GALOSHES, GUMBOOTS & GO-GO BOOTS (time to pay homage to forgotten fanciful footwear worn by damsels-in-distress or those devil-may-care types)

February 23: DIVESTMENT AWARENESS DAY (time to indulge in nothing but Naked Truths... especially if it involves a tale about an unappareled Emperor ...without so much as a figleaf to his name)

February 24: FAKE IT OR FLAUNT IT DAY (the only day you get to act any way you please, provided of course you’re willing to pay forrepparttar 118105 consequences of your foolish little escapades)

February 25: PITY POT DAY (time to trade or toss your troubles away… in a trashcan?)

February 26: MENTAL FLOSS DAY (the only occasion you can tell allrepparttar 118106 “Knock-Knock jokes” you want without anyone threatening to arrest you for verbal harassment)

February 27: BREAK OPEN THE PIGGY-BANK DAY (no time likerepparttar 118107 present to splurge on a great cause; just make sure it’s your money there Ms. Socialite or Mr. Spendthrift)

February 28: SMALL PLANET APPRECIATION DAY (ever wonder whatrepparttar 118108 world would be like without Venus and Mars gumming uprepparttar 118109 works and making fools of themselves?)

Compiled by Lady Beatrice Blitterlees (in polite circles referred to the Duchess of Dither) and edited by Lord Earl Craboon (better known as the Duke of Doorknobs), both loyal members in the Court of The Quipping Queen (

How To Have An Argument With Yourself And Win

Written by Rev. James L. Snyder

Continued from page 1

At this point, I began arguing with myself. I could not get home without getting gas. Just a simple fact of life.

It's not that I haven't run out of gas before, for I have. And, it's not like I run out of gas every week, contrary torepparttar opinions of my Better Half, for I don't.

My argument went something like this:

"This would be a good time to meet her. Just step out in faith and trust God."

"No, get gas forrepparttar 118098 car, you can always get lunch some other day."

Because ofrepparttar 118099 traffic, I had plenty of time to debate thoroughly and heatedly both sides ofrepparttar 118100 issue at hand. This went on for about 30 minutes.

Finally, I submittedrepparttar 118101 evidence on hand to God. "Oh God, I can't do both and I don't know which isrepparttar 118102 right one to do."

A peace settled on me and I headed forrepparttar 118103 restaurant.

Atrepparttar 118104 restaurant, I foundrepparttar 118105 young lady was not waitressing, but wasrepparttar 118106 shift manager forrepparttar 118107 day. When I was seated, I asked for her. Then I didn't know what to expect. I really did not know her and she did not know me at all.

She came to my table and I introduced myself. I knew her grandfather, which was an opening for a very delightful conversation. She sat at my table for about 10 minutes and we chatted like old friends.

I finished my lunch andrepparttar 118108 waitress brought my bill. I stared at it for a few minutes and realized after paying for lunch I had a grand total of 6 cents left. Not quite enough to buy gas forrepparttar 118109 car. I chuckled one of those nervous chuckles when you don't know what's going to happen, but you know you've donerepparttar 118110 right thing.

Then unexpectedly my waitress came torepparttar 118111 table, snatched up my bill and said, "Your lunch has been taken care of." And with that, she whirled away leaving me in a semi-shocked condition.

Going torepparttar 118112 door to leave,repparttar 118113 young lady came to see me off. I profusely thanked her forrepparttar 118114 lunch, and she simply smiled.

Driving torepparttar 118115 gas station, a verse of Scripture played on my mind.

"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will withrepparttar 118116 temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." (1 Corinthians 10:13 KJV.)

The best way to win an argument is submittingrepparttar 118117 evidence to God. He always has a workable plan.

The Reverend James L. Snyder is an award winning author whose writings have appeared in more than eighty periodicals including GUIDEPOSTS. In Pursuit of God: The Life of A. W. Tozer, Snyder’s first book, won the Reader’s Choice Award in 1992 by Christianity Today. Snyder has authored 8 books altogether.

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