When you lack confidence all world seems to be against you and you seem to get caught in a downward spiral. Just look at sportspeople when their confidence is low they stop winning, they stop being able to do what was second nature to them before. Frustration takes over and when frustration is master then world goes pear shaped. It becomes everybody else’s fault. It’s same with you. Confidence is key.

But how do you get your confidence back? Usually either with someone believing in you and reminding you of your talents or by taking a good look at yourself and remembering what you are good at. Your strengths if you like.

Then practice. Going back to training field and re-practicing all you strengths until they become second nature again. Do what Jane did. Put yourself in a position where you have to practice day in day out and gradually you will regain confidence in your strengths. It is strange but sportspeople accept that way to develop and grow is through practice but in everyday life we think that we can just get on with it. Let me give you an example.

A few years ago Julie and I used to teach a meditation course. At beginning of course we would explain benefits of meditation and suggest that each person starts with five minutes in morning and if possible five minutes in evening. Within a week or two students would be ’phoning us to tell us that were no longer attending course because they found that they could not meditate. They had sat down but found it impossible to concentrate and decided that it was not for them. You see, they were unwilling to practice. We don’t know anyone who is able to sit down and meditate immediately. It takes time and practice like everything else in life.

Often to regain your confidence you have to change your attitude. We have learned that there is no such thing as I can’t……. there is only I couldn’t be bothered or I am unwilling to put time in at moment or I won’t because…….I don’t have time……..I couldn’t possibly………..It’s no use ……I’ve tried but…….To get your confidence back you have to put in effort on yourself. You have to identify your strengths and keep practicing. You have to desire a different life. A different way of living.

Use: of course when…. instead of I’m sorry but …..

Graham and Julie www.desktop-mediation.com

Graham and Julie live in the Canary Islands where they pursue their love for writing, photography and spirituality. To see more if their work please go to: www.desktop-meditation.com

You could see courage becoming more and more expressive on Eddie’s face, as he felt and received that acceptance. When he realized everyone was eager for him to be of service, he gave it his all. I was especially touched by something Eddie said, which I can only paraphrase. He stood up, one of few black people in room, and said “the reason God made us look different is so we would be able to practice remembering we are all one.”

This is what being of service does, too. Think about it. When you do a favor for someone you automatically set yourself apart, and often above, other person. When you are being of service, however, you are recognizing that you are connected, that we are all one.

Later that same Sunday, I conducted a workshop. A gentleman we later dubbed “Bike Messenger Bob” saw sign for workshop and pedaled in to join us. Bike Messenger Bob was an enthusiastic bundle of light and joy who demonstrated being of service. When I asked for water, he jumped up, got me a glass of water. He got me a bigger glass so I wouldn’t get thirsty later, brought me a brownie, went out to hallway and brought in a copy of my book to show to people, gave people encouragement, and at end of workshop he disappeared without a trace. He came solely to be of service. He didn’t do it for any acknowledgement, any reward, for anything in return.

Take some time this month to make a list of everyone you’ve done a favor for in past few months. Write down what favor was that you did. Then cross out words “did a favor” and replace them with “was of service”. Notice changes you feel about situation and your expectations of being owed anything, or of being somehow apart from, or more than, this person.