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* continue relationship with your own hidden agendas - a desire for romantic intimacy and hope that person will realize that they feel same way
If they become involved with someone else in meantime, you can work to sabotage their new relationship or you can leave them wondering where all your anger and hurt feelings are coming from. You can spend a lot of time and energy handling it this way, without anything to show for your efforts but loss of a good friend.
* have an open and honest discussion with your friend regarding your new feelings for them
This is choice that seems to be hardest for folks to make. Often what I hear from people in this position is that they fear "ruining friendship" if they discuss their feelings honestly. While this is a very understandable concern, it isn't well thought out. It is emotional, not rational. Look again at other options. Every one will bring about a change in your current friendship.
Why?
Once your feelings have changed, so does relationship. Ignoring them, hiding them or distancing yourself will lessen your closeness and positive dynamics that flow between good friends. You can't go back. You need to decide how you want to move forward or if this is an option for you. . It is also possible in choosing this option that you will learn that they have similar feelings for you that they were afraid to reveal. Therefore choosing this option could result in romance and a love relationship based on true friendship.
Intimacy exists in all close relationships. It is ability to be completely open and vulnerable to another without fear of harm or rejection. So, by definition, we cannot be intimate with another while hiding or denying our true feelings and needs to them.
The choice will always be yours. Choosing wisely is about really knowing options, consequences they bring and what will be best for you and your friend.
Toni Coleman is a relationship coach who specializes in working with singles seeking lasting, healthy relationships. She is the author of numerous email classes that teach meeting, dating and healthy communication skills. She has also authored many articles on relationships that are published on over 40 web sites. Her monthly column and newsletter are read by thousands of singles seeking love