Well, not quite. In fact, his book is about humorous anecdotes from many years in his particular profession. Hmm. That wouldn't qualify him as an author, even if he publishes. It would put him in that blurry purgatory between "writer" "and" "author" in company of so many silver medal winners who almost made it and whose names we almost remember .

Why? Because he doesn't qualify for that crucial qualifying praise, "I just couldn't put your book down." That comment is reserved for novels, "serious" non-fiction like biographies and history, and how-to books on topics that require wads of glue. Other lowly books just don't count.

But what if a lowly book could attract an " I just couldn't put your book down?" Would that make writer an author, or would author remain just a writer?

My book is a self-help book. Climb your Stairway to Heaven: 9 habits of maximum happiness. Self-help books are certainly not considered second-class books by literary elite. They wouldn't even let self-help books into fourth class. In other words, mine is not a title any self-respecting New York Times book reviewer would allow to qualify for "I just couldn't put your book down."

At least, not in theory. But several people have said exactly that. (Too bad they said it to me and not to New York Times.)

One lady even apologized for not calling me back one morning because she had stayed up into wee hours of morning reading my book. Now that's kind of feedback that makes an author smile. What heck, that kind of feedback would make even a writer smile.

Call me a writer. Call me an author. I couldn't care less. As long as you tell me "I just couldn't put your book down," I'm happy as a pig in ... uh ... Jell-O.

4. Ask for samples of type of writing you need, whether it's website content, a sales letter or a news release. Do you like what you see?

5. Make sure their work comes with a guarantee. Not just "I keep writing until it's good enough", but a full money-back offer.

6. If you think you've found your writer, commission a small, inexpensive project first. If you're happy with quality and speed with which it's produced, you know you can send him or her more important work.

7. Be wary of writers who take days or, heaven forbid, weeks to answer your correspondence. That's your first clue that customer does not come first.