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Step two involves making sure that you achieve small incremental victories. Little by little. From one small victory to next 'little bit' bigger victory. It might be necessary at this stage to achieve as many 'baby victories' as possible. Until you feel more 'confident' to handle bigger situations. In NLP they call it 'small chunking'. Break down your challenge into smaller, manageable components. Achieve success in each little components. Haven't you heard how you eat an elephant?
What do you say to yourself and about yourself when you are under pressure? Think about a particular incident? Was what you were saying then helpful, resourceful or was it discouraging?
Watch your words, because they might have a tendency of sabotaging your efforts at building self-confidence.
Your words communicate one of two things. They either communicate images of failure and helplessness or they communicate images of success and resourcefulness. If you communicate helplessness to yourself, especially when you are under pressure, you are not doing yourself any favor. Which would you prefer while you are building your self-confidence: a rhetoric of past failures or a message of hope and resourcefulness?
You can change tape you want to hear. You can change what you tell yourself by:
a. monitoring your self-talk b. using positive, concrete language and c. maintaining perspective.
Ok, title of this discussion is 'Forget Positive Thinking'. I bet you my last penny, positive thinking does not work. Especially if you are under severe pressure.
For me what has worked is practicality of building my self-confidence, monitoring my self-talk, and maintaining perspective.
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