Do everything you do not want to do. Do it for your children. If you do, your children will be by your side in your old age. If you do not, you will find yourself alone when you are old.

Many laws have changed in last thirty-five years: child support enforcement laws and custody regulations. But courts cannot enforce healthy, open communication between parents. And courts cannot impose on us one thing that will make all difference for each of us. It comes from inside. It is love.

Love and heal your self. Love and honor your children. Then and only then will you and your children know peace.

If your former spouse is not fulfilling their court ordered obligations, let it go. Stop trying to enforce what they are not willing to adhere to. You have no control over them.

Focus on being best parent to your child when you are with them.

Never speak negatively about other parent, show other parent disrespect in front of children, or cause children to feel they should take sides.

Allow children their birthright to express love to both parents.

Be grateful for whatever other parent contributes to lives of your children, and stop seeking to get more.

You will find that when your energy is spent on genuinely accepting, and sharing parental responsibility with your former spouse, for sake of your children, rather than continuing a war, your children will thrive emotionally. They will bear no psychological scars. They will learn gifts of open dialogue, rather than receive pain as they witness a silent war between two parents they are a part of.

As divorced parents, do everything you can to create a pleasant atmosphere with your former spouse for your children. This may be an unwilling sacrifice for you, but it is a gift for your children.

In her nationally praised seminars and workshops, Author, public speaker and columnist Barbara Rose shares the secrets of turning tragedy into triumph. Her books; Individual Power: Reclaiming Your Core, Your Truth, and Your Life; and If God Was Like Man (Publication Date April, 2003) share profound, inspiring insight. Please visit her website http://www,borntoinspire.com

5. Chore list is clearly posted. Everyone does his or her share as a member of family.

6. There is a key rack, shoe rack and pegs for jackets and backpacks near door.

7. Toys are separated into containers by category and can be put away quickly.

8. There is a portable file box into which bills and paperwork are organized.

9. Home appears adequately clean. Family has a daily system to pick up clutter and a weekly system for cleaning house.

10. Family members have time for one another because their home is organized.