4. BECOME AN EXPERT ON YOUR PARTNER’S NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION.

Words are clumsiest vehicle we have for communicating how we feel. The most important information is not transmitted that way. Couples who've been together a long time, love each other, and are happy, can 'read each other like a book.' The slightest glance conveys volumes to understanding 'heart'. Resource: "Nonverbal Communication," http://www.webstrategies.cc/nonverbal_communication.html . Researchers say one trait of happiest couples is they can sense when other one is sad.

5. PRACTICE SLOWING DOWN.

You can't be sensual if you're in a hurry. This is what "SMELL roses" refers to. At least once a day stop madness, stop thinking (that chatter in left-brain) and FEEL, i.e., experience through your 5 senses (not your intellect). In fact you’ll really know you’re there when you lose sense of time.

6. DEVELOP YOUR 6TH SENSE: INTUITION.

Work with a certified EQ coach to develop your Intuition and bring it more into awareness. You can then "sense" things more quickly and also tune in to your own needs, wants and desires more quickly. Intuition is your surest guide and it can be learned. Resource: "Intuition," http://www.webstrategies.cc/aintuition.html .

7. INCREASE YOUR PARTICIPATION IN NATURE AND THE ARTS.

Study great art - painting, poetry, classical music. Do this individually, and then plan "nature" outings with your partner where you can stare at stars, feel breeze tickle your hair, hear rustling of leaves or pine cones underfoot, taste a ripe, fresh passion fruit (yes!), and feel rocking of boat. Leave chatter out!

8. LEARN ABOUT MASSAGE BY READING.

Read about how to give a massage. Here are 3 free resources: How to Give a Back massage, http://www.journey-to-self.com/back_massage.htm , How to Give a Massage, http://riri.essortment.com/howtogiveama_ryta.htm, and Learn to Give a Great Massage, http://www.massagefree.com .

9. LEARN ABOUT MASSAGE EXPERIENTIALLY.

Schedule a professional massage and consider masseuse to be 'modeling' for you. Learn experientially what you like. Pay attention to total ambiance they create. If you have a good one, it should include: low lighting, restricted noise level, no talking (not a thinking thing), no jewelry, various techniques, warm, moist towels, oils, symmetry, and music such as "The Most Relaxing Classical Music in Universe," "The Pachelbel Canon with Ocean Sounds," and "Natural Sleep Enducements".

Sleep enducements? Sensual is about pleasure and relaxation, not arousal. Which leads to point number 10.

10. PONDER THIS THOUGHT: Everything is about sex except sex, and sex is about aggression.

DISTINCTIONS

Thinking v. pondering Looking v. gazing Savouring v. tasting Caressing v. touching Experiencing v. feeling Delivering v. giving Happiness v. pleasure

·Doctors with poor EQ skills get sued more.

·75-90% of visits to primary care physicians in US are due to stress-related problems.

·Pessimists live shorter, unhealthier, unhappier lives, and are less likely to achieve their potential than optimists.

·College students in a study with same IQ and GPA who did not write down their career goals with intentionality were 50% less successful 15 years later.

Emotional Intelligence consists of a set of life skills you can learn that will help you manage your emotions better.

Individuals who start developing their EQ notice improvements in their lives immediately in terms of relationships, work and social life. They also experience a great sense of relief, because it supplies “missing piece”. As one client said, “Now I know what’s going on. The rest is easy.”

You can take a test that will tell you where your strengths and weaknesses are here: http://tinyurl.com/z750 . Find out, and then take action. You have nothing to lose but more losses.

©Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach. Susan is the author of the acclaimed “How to Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence,” http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html . Start learning EQ today and live better and longer tomorrow. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for more information. CHECK OUT THE BEST EBOOK LIBRARY ON THE INTERNET: www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html .