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4.Neil wanted to get organized. When we talked, I couldn’t see anywhere where he wasn’t organized. “What do you want to get organized about?” I asked. “I missed picking up my clothes at
cleaners other day, he said. “That’s not like me.” Neil needed to work on his perfectionism. He had narrowed his life so much in order to accommodate his perfectionism that his life was relatively empty and always disappointing. The point of getting organized is to enhance your life, not vice versa.
5.Nucha began coaching by saying, “I hate this,” and “I know you can’t help me.” With such a pessimistic attitude, how could she succeed at anything? She needed to work on her emotional intelligence and learn a more optimistic attitude!
6.Emilil said she couldn’t prioritize. I told her to write down everything she did for next two weeks. When she returned, she’d figured it out! We are prioritizing all time, whether we’re conscious of it or not. Get conscious about it is beginning. If you want to see what your values are, look at your checkbook and see what you write check for. With awareness comes change, and a sense of control.
7.Candee wanted to get organized because she said she always forgot things and didn’t get things done. When I asked her “Like what?” she could only come up with a couple of things … failing to buy MacIntosh apples on last trip to grocery, not remembering her uncle’s birthday. I asked her to make a full list of things she was NOT doing. When faced with that assignment, she realized absurdity of it, and that perhaps she was worrying just for sake of worrying. She entered birthdays on Clock-Calendar, and found a new grocery-list system that worked.
8.Nancy said she had too much to do and I asked her to tell me. After talking for 10 minutes she said, “This is ridiculous. I can’t do all this.” Sometimes you need to hear yourself talk to see how things really are! She immediately took action. She got a low-maintenance hairstyle, found new homes for 3 of her 5 pets; shopped online and used gift bags instead going to mall and then wrapping; and she quit baking homemade bread, which no one in her family noticed for 3 weeks.
Whatever organizational state you’re in, get big picture organized first, and then go get tools. Work with a coach for quicker results.
©Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, THE EQ COACH, http://www.susandunn.cc. Emotional intelligence coaching to enhance every aspect of your life, applicable to career, relationships, midlife transition, organization and life balance. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for free ezines. Put “EQ Personal” or “EQ in the Workplace”, or both, for the subject line.
