How to Get Happiness

Written by Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach

Continued from page 1

The heights of emotion do not last. Inrepparttar case of positive emotions, we are sorry. Inrepparttar 126152 case of negative emotions, we are delighted. Think back on some major disappointment in your life, and process back over your emotional reactions. Surely there was anger, grief, sadness, frustration, even depression when it first occurred. (Or shock, which is a shutting down of emotions for protective purposes.) A week later, how did you feel? A month later? Now?

You can retracerepparttar 126153 same with positive emotions. Put another way, “afterrepparttar 126154 honeymoon comesrepparttar 126155 marriage.” But don’t let this thought dismay you. It isn’t “why bother because I’ll always go back to a low level.” Part of developing your emotional intelligence is being able to tolerate greater levels of emotion. And things overall can become much more positive. After all, for most of us it’srepparttar 126156 downward spiral after a failure or loss that’srepparttar 126157 most difficult to manage.

This receding ofrepparttar 126158 initial emotion will berepparttar 126159 course unless you’ve failed to develop resilience, an emotional intelligence competency. Resilience means being able to bounce back from failure, disappointment and loss without losing your enthusiasm and hope forrepparttar 126160 future. The only permanent damage from any deep emotional event would be if you came out of it bitter, cynical, or hopeless and unable to move on.

Learn to manage your emotions so you can keep a more even keel, enjoyingrepparttar 126161 good, toleratingrepparttar 126162 bad, and knowing each will pass. This allows you to more greatly appreciaterepparttar 126163 good things, byrepparttar 126164 way. Sooner or later we learn to grabrepparttar 126165 moment when it’s good, yes? How many times have you heard someone say, “I didn’t appreciate it when I had it?” That would be a real loss in your life, yes?

This is not about losing enthusiasm for achievements and goals. This is about layingrepparttar 126166 foundation that will allow you to maneuver better in all you do, have better outcomes and not sabotage yourself.

You see, we obstacles we throw in our own way arerepparttar 126167 ones we need to eliminate. The fear of success andrepparttar 126168 fear of failure are both about emotions. After all,repparttar 126169 result of success is a high state of emotion, andrepparttar 126170 result of failure is a high state of emotion. Get beyond that. Go for your successes! Learn to manage your failures! Learn emotional intelligence.

©Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach, . I teach individuals to master change and transform their lives through the power of emotional intelligence. Individual coaching, Internet courses, and ebooks ( ). EQ matters more to your health, success and happiness than IQ, and it can be learned. for FREE ezine.

The Key to a Great Relationship

Written by Susan Dunn, MA Psychology, Emotional Intelligence Coach

Continued from page 1

It’s similar to “free associating,” becauserepparttar speaker can count on not being corrected, judged, interrupted, or even really commented upon. This is amazingly freeing, healing, and amazingly hard to come by. It allowsrepparttar 126151 speaker to get torepparttar 126152 heart ofrepparttar 126153 matter, and his or her feelings, and learn all sorts of things.


Time is a crucial element to loving communication. We are under so much time pressure these days, our serious conversations can be squeezed in between changing diapers, taking outrepparttar 126154 garbage, and gettingrepparttar 126155 dinner dishes done. We often feel rushed to hurry up and say what we have to say, and we listenrepparttar 126156 same way, unconsciously sending outrepparttar 126157 vibes that we hope our partner will just hurry up and get it said because we have to catch our favorite television show, or get to sleep because we have a big meeting inrepparttar 126158 morning.

The other person can sense when we’re listening this way, and it defeatsrepparttar 126159 purpose of Talk Story.

A good way to do this is lying side-by-side, onrepparttar 126160 bed, a hammock, a blanket underrepparttar 126161 stars, a sailboat! It is “just” talking and one ofrepparttar 126162 most healing things a person can do. The other person just listens, without making comments or judgments.


Between two people who are intimate, silence can be a very special place. They are oftenrepparttar 126163 prelude to very important sharing.

For one thing, it is rarely tolerated in casual conversation, so it is special just in itself. Being able to sit withrepparttar 126164 silence of your partner will allow them to look more deeply within, and bring up what it is they need to talk about. Don’t rush them by feelingrepparttar 126165 need to “fill air time.” Allowing empty space is a great gift you can give one another. Give them permission to take their time, and to fillrepparttar 126166 silence when and if they’re ready.

Good communication between two partners involves talking and listening. A lot more has been written onrepparttar 126167 art of talking. Remember thatrepparttar 126168 listening, andrepparttar 126169 silences, are equally important.

©Susan Dunn, MA Psychology, Emotional Intelligence Coach, . Susan is the author of “Do You Hear What I Hear,” , and other EQ ebooks. She offers individual and executive coaching, and internet courses. for FREE ezine.

    <Back to Page 1 © 2005
Terms of Use